Musing of X o'clock

Ero Ooji エロ王子@ Enma's Nechi-nechi night

2012-01-27T22:47:00.000+09:00

It was another Nechi-Nechi Friday at Enma and together with NdT, Mike_West and another Swedish Nawashi, we headed over for it.

Tonight guest nawashi was Ero Ooji, a very skilled and interesting nawashi I had seen a few times previously. I confess I was really curious to see him again, and, perhaps if my lucky star shined on me, to be tied by him.

His first tie was a very intense and long sequence of suspensions (partial and full) with wax play as well.

After disrobing his model (girlfriend?) from her kimono, he wrapped his signature red rope on her, starting with a very thick takatekote, and then securing a hip rope. By now she was still sitting on the floor and he tied her long black hair in the vertical rope attached to the suspension point, creating a delicious predicament.

He then suspend her sideways, securing a column from one food as well, and then tied the other leg folded to the foot. In this position, with her hip and ass fully exposed, he started dropping some hot wax, starting though by letting the drop run over his hand at first before moving it away and let the drops fall on her directly, with the candle (and the heat) closer and closer, eliciting moans and whimpers.

Lowering her from her suspended position and freeing her legs, he tied the feet together and then wrapped up the legs in what I call a mermaid-like tie and then pulled her feet and legs off the ground with a rope through the suspension point in an almost but not quite inverted suspension.

He then secured another suspension column from her waist and from her chest, and then a last one very close to the neck, ending up with her in a face up suspension and with vertical legs.

This time the hot wax was dripped all over her breasts and sensitive nipples causing her to whimper and struggle against the ropes.

He untied the suspension column from her chest and close to the neck, and after wrapping her long hair tightly with rope, he pulled her upper body again off the ground by it. Following such a bold move, you could hear a sudden gasp from all the M-jo in the audience (and you could see all the S-o's eyes shine with glee and delight).

As a last transition to this long and intense series of ties, after lowering her and freeing her hair, he connected her feet to her back in a hog-tie and suspended her face down.

Through out the tying you could see transpire from his hands letting a frenzy and excitement that his whole calm body and demeanor easily concealed, a sort of suffocated intensity. His rope was fast, the tie precise and clinical, and his energy totally in control.

My lucky star (aka my companions) shined on me today too and Ero Ooji-sama agreed to tie me as well. So after the Swedish guy's turn to tie, and with Bingo-san tying at the other end, my turn came.

Being the first time to be tied by Ooji-sama and having sensed from previous conversations a somewhat reserved personality, I decided to not only passively be receptive to the rope and the nawashi's energy, but to also be the one to actively reach out.

He started by massaging and relaxing my shoulder muscles and arms, before starting with the TK. Chest harness in place he proceeded to pull up my bra trough the ropes and then to tie a waist rope and secure it with a column to the suspension point.

In this kneeling position he also attached a hip rope and leaning me on one side, tied one leg folded and attached to the other one before pulling me up in a side suspension and covering my eyes with a tenugui.

As soon as the rope and his actions got rougher, I could feel the barrier come down and the energies connecting. And with that I was lost into my own rope space.

A sudden sting on my upper leg was quickly followed by few others when he started slapping my upper thigh with his bare hand.

Untying my chest column I ended up upside down, but I barely noticed any discomfort. He then put me down ever so gently that I almost did not notice and I was surprised when my head gently barely brushed the ground.
He then proceeded to free my wrists to reduce the tension on them without undoing the TK and quickly pulled me up by my waist and foot line putting me once again upside down.

And after wrapping a rope around my not folded leg and rearranging my legs and tying them together (with some interesting rope through my toes as well) he left me there swinging for a few minutes before letting me down. (see pictures).

Once again I got lowered very gently and the rope also was taken off so inconspicuously and without breaking the connection that at first I did not notice, until he started pulling the rope slowly and purposely between my legs, compensating for the loss of rope with delicious shivers.

And drunk with rope, I probably ended up saying a bunch of silly things to the poor fellows that happened to be around me afterwards (including Ooji-sama himself ... *blush*)

Naka Akira 奈加あきら @ Enma's Nechi-nechi night

2012-01-14T12:10:00.000+09:00

Naka Akira Sensei's
signature eye contact

It was a cold day of December and with such a famous guest for the Nechi-nechi night as Naka Akira Sensei, I gathered my courage and went on my own. Afterall I'b been at Enma a few times before and even last time I ventured by myself at Kitagawa's Indigo rope salon it worked out very well.

I arrived in the middle of the first of his ties.

The incredibly neat rope was tied very tightly around her chest and tummy, and another rope was running from the hair to her toes, passing through her pussy creating an interesting effect as she could pull on it on her own with her toes to create more pressure, creating pleasure on one spot at the cost of some discomfort on another. Her whimpers and cries, a mixture of pleasure moans and chocking sounds, quickly filled the small place.

The intensity of the scene still lingering in the air, the second tie started. This time the model was nonetheless than the famous Akane-chan, a young new rope model that is quickly gathering a lot of fans (originally discovered by Yukimura Haruki Sensei, is now quickly become a favorite of many nawashi and rope lovers ).

This time I could see the tie starting from the beginning and I noticed that Naka-sensei was not putting the model's arm in the takatekote in the most common way of inside facing each other and hands grabbing the wrists, but with the arm on top of each other, side by side. For this tie Naka-sensei decided to use 4mm and 3mm.

After securing the takatekote he moved to bind her legs, starting from her feet and moving up, creating a tight bind. He then pulled her up by her feet making her look like a beautiful mermaid trapped in a fisherman's net and hang for all to see, vulnerable and struggling in her restrains.

Through out the tie, Naka-sensei would stop and look at her in her eyes, with an intensity that made her shake each and every time (orgasming? probably :p)

The tie ended with Akane-chan shaking at each and every rope pulled over her body, like a chord instrument under the fingers of a virtuoso. An truly intense ending for a truly intensely beautiful tie.

And then, thanks to Yoi-mama's kind intercession, I got the incredible fortune to be tied by Naka Sensei!

He told me right away that his rope was going to be tight and asked if it was ok.
In spite of feeling totally shy and humbled (and giddy) I managed to answer coherently and off owe started.

When I put my arms behind my back in the usual way, he immediately corrected me to have my arms put side by side. His rope around my wrists was very tight and yet it did not hurt nor feel too uncomfortable.

The wraps around my chest and arms too were very tight as he had promised they would be, and the incredibly tight embrace quickly got into me as if the bind passed trough from my outside body down to my inside soul.

Checking periodically with me if the rope was ok, he pulled me up standing and after securing a waist line and attaching both that and the chest rope to the suspension beam I ended up on my toes. He then bind my legs starting above my knees and moving up around my hips connecting with the waist rope.

Hip and legs rope in place, he attached the knee rope to the suspension point and pulled me up, putting me in a twisted sort of position: bottom half facing up, upper half facing sideways.

And from there, with a swift and powerful movement, he loosened the upper body suspending columns and I found myself dangling upside down, rope tightly gripping my hips and chest.

My mind blank, I just let myself sink deeply in the exquisite tight and painfully pleasurable embrace of Naka Sensei's rope.

Jail's mama-san rope and musing on male VS female energy

2012-01-09T23:46:00.001+09:00

It was a cold and quite night of early December, and after a long absence, it was time to stop by at Jail. A visiting friend was in town, and it had become a sort of tradition. We were running late and we arrived just before closing time, but mama-san was kind enough to let us in. And, of course, to tie me up.

It was a face-up suspension (mama-san commented that male nawashi tend to prefer face-down), that felt more like a practicing session than a SM play or even a rope show (like this time the year before).

Mama-san had fun moving my legs around, trying different positions and angles and overall testing my flexibility. Nonetheless it was a very enjoyable tie.

Having experienced both male and female nawashi, I have to say that the energy, the way the rope feels is interestingly different. One thing I cannot be sure though is what part is due to my own different reaction to male and female energy. (I'm not bi, but I'm not straight). However as sex and arousal is not what I seek (or get) in rope, it should have less of an impact.

What I feel the difference is, is that where the male energy feels like fire, or spikes, or a stormy ocean or a snake hypnotizing dance, the female one have so far felt more like a gentle blanket slowly embracing and engulfing, a soothing lullaby, a gentle stream and a southern breeze. And whereas in the male energy the power is openly overwhelming,in the female energy the power is felt in the undertones.

But when the nawashi is a sadist at heart, it does not matter male or female, the stirring beast, the promise of hell carried even by the gentlest brushing, can be felt through the rope, like a low growl, a vibration. And it causes my heartbeat to accelerate and my breathing to get shallow.

I'm sure the beast can smell the fear.

Musing #022: "Sad" rope is better than no rope ...

2011-12-18T23:50:00.003+09:00

When I first encountered rope bondage, it was through pictures I saw on-line. It spoke to me right away and I went and looked for sites where to learn more and see more. It took a few years, during which I bought rope, tried it on, had some tied it on and even pictures taken until, eventually, I landed in the rope world and had the fortune to experience shibari/kimbaku by a passionate apprentice nawashi at first. And now also the rope of many famous nawashi.

The longing I had felt since the first time I saw a picture just took a life of its own and it was love at first tie. What I had glimpsed through my previous experiences became a blinding light and a roaring sound that filled my mind and my soul.

When the rope was on, I now realize, it was easy to confuse what the rope would be whispering to me with what the rigger would be doing to me. And in that confusion, it didn't really matter whether I knew the rigger or had a connection with him/her: in the cacophonous noise of my mind, the indecipherable whisper of the rope would be enough to work its magic.

But alas, as any illusion, it did not survive the test of time.

Now that I've learned to recognize the voice of the rope, and decipher its whispers, I can hear that, when the connection with the rigger is not there (whether on purpose, as it is just an utilitarian tie, or not), the rope is sad.

And the magic, even though it is still there, is sad too.

How much longer will sad rope be better than no rope?

Shigonawa Bingo 紫護縄びんご - the magic of purple rope

2011-12-15T13:39:00.000+09:00

I was still under the spell from seeing his show the previous week and being moved to tears, so when he put his hands on me, I just eagerly tapped into his energy and let it lull and engulf me as I knew I could trust him, even if it was the first time he was going to have his ropes on me.

From the first connection when he put his hands over my shoulders and pulled me in a tight embrace with his ropes across my chest, I could feel him through the ropes in a way that did not feel as if it was the first time he was tying me. And immediately I was lost in rope space.

Bind in a takatekote and with rope around my waist, I got laid down on one side, and my legs got then secured to each other in the slightly asymmetric position they had naturally landed and rested.

He then put a rope gag in my mouth and from there suspended me in this horizontal position.

The way the legs were bent, and the semi side-way position made my ass be nicely exposed and he just had to spank it. (Ouch! He surely has heavy hands! I'd seen the marks he had left on some of his models in pictures and I can now attest to the strength of his barehanded spanking!)

A few painful swats that left my right butt cheek red, he stopped. The feeling was a mixture of relief and disappointment, as I feared it meant the end of the tie. As I realized that one of the rope was starting to bite into my right shoulder, it was probably time to come down.

But before he stared to undo the rope, he made me swirl around a couple of time, enticing a strong head-shake of "no! no!", as I truly hate the feeling. He respectfully stopped me and admitted later on that my vigorous plea was so cute that it actually made him wish to continue (sadists! I should know better by now! LOL).

His way of handling the rope was truly intense from the beginning to the end, moving my body around with a very strong and commanding grip. Even the whole process of undoing the rope was precise and intense, and he probably took as long to pull the rope away as he did to put them on, to the point that the act of pulling then rope across my skin felt incredibly sexual and would leave me whimpering and breathing hard.

Throughout the experience I could feel, even in my dazed state, the care he had in each single detail, the high level of attention he was paying to me, my physical reactions (he noticed my fast racing heart and decided it was time to stop - I explained him later that my heartbeat rate is always pretty high) and my emotional reactions (he would indulge running the rope over my skin while pulling it off in tune with my subtle whimpering).

But most of all, I could feel what I had glimpsed and had made me cry during the show: he manages to express and transmit through the rope his gratitude while binding you and taking what he wants.

He is totally in charge, but at the same time he truly cherish the gift he is being given by the person submitting to his ropes. I'm sure that the closer and deeper the connection, the more demanding he gets (I sense a sadist beneath the nawashi). But from the show last week, it was evident that, even during a show where the ego of the rigger could easily take over, he never forgets, not even for a moment, to focus on the model.

It all ended, as all good things have to come to an end, with me in a heap on the floor, with the rope he used on me, tossed over my head and face.

And ll I could do was to breath in the scent of hemp and meekly crawl over to him to lay at his feet.

I can only thank my lucky star and NdT for the chance to such a wonderful experience.

Nechi Nechi night @ Enma: Yoi-mama よい

2011-12-10T16:31:00.000+09:00

The day to step into Enma on a Nechi Nechi night had finally arrived, and our little group of kinksters arrived in the middle of the action. (Yosshi-san was the guest nawashi of the night.). Sat down with wine & cheese (sharing gifts is always welcomed), we enjoyed the show while chatting in this cozy and lovely atmosphere.

I'd met Yoi-mama (and been tied) previously at Indigo bar, and was very happy when she asked if I wanted to be tied by her again. As there was already some other action going on in the center, we took a side position.

While I was sitting in a seiza, she first tied a takatekote, attaching the rope to my hair as well. Leaving me down, she secured the rope to a suspension point, forcing me to sit up straight, and she then used a short whip on my front/breast. The hits were gentle and precise, and let me easily imagine how stingy they would be if she swung it full force.

Having the space cleared out, she moved me to a suspension, with my legs tied in such a way to leave one of my inner tights vulnerably exposed. That was the next target of the whip.

Somehow between the nervousness and wanting to catch the other rope action going on around us, I did not fall as deep in the rope as the previous time, and once done and untied, I had to admit that the rope and the whip had just left me wanting more :p

Yosshi-san tied a lady from our group in a augura tie (あぐら, crossed leg) , and suspended her in such position. It was very interesting and it looked quite comfortable (and from the expression on the lady's face, I can tell she did like it too).

Then it was Shigonawa Bingo-san turn. He tied his model in a low horizontal suspension that left her butt totally exposed for him to work the single tail with an incredible (painful) precision.

Lucky for me NdT was up for some rope as well, and in the spirit of nechi-nechi, it was mostly floor work, with a very tight crotch rope attached to the suspension point in a bit of a predicament bondage: I could not fully relax on the floor as the rope would bite into the pinky bits, but then my muscle would get sore and still make me fall on the floor ...

Another delicious night of rope and friendly chatters.

I think I just found my new favorite evening in Tokyo: nechi nechi @ Enma ^_^

Musing #021: more on safety

2011-11-19T10:55:00.001+09:00

"A guide for rope bottoms and bondage models" by Clover of rope-topia.com

Written for beginner bottoms, is also a good reminder for more experienced rope models. And it is also a good read for tops and riggers as well.

Because it takes a few seconds to do a life long lasting damage, it is always better safe than sorry when it comes to rope bondage.

Musing #020: Rope Intentions

2011-11-06T17:09:00.002+09:00

A questions on "Rope Intentions" asked on a Fetlife thread, coupled with recent experiences have brought me to look back to a previous entry and reflect some more.

In my experience, when it is the first time for a nawashi and a bottom to experience a rope scene together, they are both cautious in their approach: the nawashi testing the bottom, and the bottom learning to trust the nawashi. I think this is a very good thing, not only from a safety point of view, but also because it helps create the underling dialogue, so important for a good scene.

It makes only sense then that scene gets more fulfilling, the more the nawashi and the bottom know and trust each other.

That being said, I think that there are a lot of differences in intentions and results depending whether the scene is a private one, a public one, a show or practice/experimenting, and whether the nawashi and the bottom are new to each other, have a relationship and the type of relationship, and so forth.

Personally, even though I said in my previous entry that rope is something I enjoy for myself, I've got to realize that, for as much as I love a rope scene where I'm basically simply folding inside of myself and enjoying the sensations, it is much more fulfilling if I feel and sense that the nawashi is getting what he/she wants out of it as well. There is a degree here as well, but when I feel that their own body reacts through the rope to my own reactions, and that in return direct their movements and what they'll do with the rope, it became really magic: two bundles of energy exchanging it via the rope, feeding and being fed, and in the process creating a new one.

I've also had the fortune to witness such rope scene as a spectator, and they leave me totally in awe, goose bumps and mouth agape. And also slightly uncomfortable at times as it can be much more intimate than watching someone having sex.

As for tears, they were also mentioned in the opening post of the Fetlife thread, to me, they come from yet another even more primal place: a place of total surrender/control, giving/gratitude, abnegation/power with a underlying vibe of humbleness and pure euphoria that comes from being granted such a gift. A gift that goes both ways.

Rope IS truly magic.

なだそうそう - Tears and Purple Rope

2011-11-04T15:09:00.000+09:00

お縄は深い。
Rope is intense.

人間関係は深い。
People's relationships are complex.

人間の心は深い。
The human soul is deep and mysterious.

お縄はその関係、その心を見せてくれます。
And rope unveil to discerning eyes, those relationships, those complexities, those mysteries.

まだまだ初心者で、お縄の世界の数パーセントしか見ていない私。
I'm just a beginner, having barely scratched the surface of the rope world.

素敵な緊縛で感動したことやドキットしたことはよくあります。
I've seen Kinbaku that has left me moved, and rope that have taken my breath away.

吸い込まれて、お口を開いたままの状態で客席でショー見たことも多くあります。
I've witnessed many shows that pulled me in and left me, mouth agape.

でも、涙がぼろぼろ止まらなくなったのは初めてでした。
But it was the first time that tears fell unstoppable down my cheeks.

ちょっぴり恥ずかしかったので、そのばから離れるしかなかった。
I felt shy and a bit exposed, and I had to take myself away.

落ち着いたところで客席に戻ったら、再び涙がポッツンポッツンこぼれてしまいました。
Calmed down I returned to my place, only for tears to trickle down to my chin once again.

羨ましいかった。
Envy

寂しかった。
Loneliness

恋しいいかった。
Longing

とりあえず、感謝の一言を申し上げたいです：
All I can do now is to say with gratitude:

”感動的な緊縛を見せてくださって、ありがとうございました。”
"Thank you very much for showing such an emotional moving kinbaku."

Another night at 北川周平 Kitagawa Shuhei's rope circle

2011-11-02T12:38:00.001+09:00

After a quick date with a visiting friend, I found myself not ready to go home just yet.

It was a Monday, Kitagawa Shuhei's Salon night, and the air had started to chill, carrying hint of the season to come. Bundling myself tighter in my cardigan, I walked the short distance to Indigo Bar, both excited and apprehensive about going on my own.

Passing the Hostess Bar's cronies, down a side alley, up a steep metal staircase, I arrived in front of the unmarked door. And gathering my courage I knocked.

I walked in in the middle of a Kitagawa Sensei's tie.

The girl looked so pretty, lost in her own mind and Kitagawa Sensei's rope lust. And all I could do was think and wonder:

Do all girls look so pretty in rope?

And I think the answer is yes.

So, it make sense that men want to tie up women!

And of course women want to be tied up!

It seemed to be a night with a striking abundance of women over men, and the next girl to be tied by Kitagawa Sensei was a Cosplay girl, while her photographer/fan took pictures.

It was once again, a very sensual and sexual rope: a standing, single leg suspension. But what made the whole thing stand out is that you could see her falling into the rope and its lust by the binding: with each wrap of the rope she would fall and fall until all he had to do to make her shake (and cum) was to pull the rope tighter here and there, without having to touch any erogenous zone at all.

It was as if her whole body was reverberating with the intensity and the lust of each single wrap.

The intensity transmitted itself as waves through the air, and perhaps due to my own heightened state, I could feel it reaching me as well: I was not even getting tied and yet I could feel the tension created by the rope as if it was me being pulled and bind and tied by it.

Another girl walked in and sat down next to me at the counter.

The girl that had been tied when I walked in, was now tying her girlfriend in the corner, on the sofa; Kitagawa Sensei was going on tying the cosplaygirl, and the new girl started making conversation with the bartender and me.

To asses her role, I asked if she ties or get tied, and she said she does the tying. We talked more about rope, how we discovered it, where we go, and than she asked me if I wanted to get tied.

But ... of course!

So I took my shoes and my dress off and settled on the ground, waiting.

She first tied my hands together in front of me and then asked me to bring my hands close to my torso on one side, under the breasts. From there she bind them tight wrapping the rope around my torso and from there made a chest harness. More rope got wrapped tightly around my tummy, down to my hips and then around my folded legs, all the time asking if I was ok, if there was any problem.

I really liked the tight rope around my tummy and I slowly got happier and happier, until she decided to tie my hair and pull it in a predicament position, and with that single action she threw me off from my happy little island of rope, down into the deep dark pond of submission where I'm clay in the nawashi's hands.

She hugged and caressed me and gently brought me back on my happy rope island. And leaving the rope in my hair, she slowly undid the legs and the hips and the tummy and the chest and the hands, allowing me to play with the rope attached to my hair like a security blanket, before taking off that one too.

一人でも無理　。。。じゃなかった　＾＿＾

Halloween Munch

2011-11-01T22:31:00.000+09:00

What do you get when you put over a dozen Tokyo Fetlifers in a private room on a Halloween week-end's night?

You get:

The Darklord & His tempting Mistress; ready to pick up all stranded souls

A slightly dodgy Physician and his Hot Assistant: giving free consultations and inspections

A Steampunk Birdman that seemed to have materialized out of a Time Machine

The Pope Pious 69 "The pervert", forgiving all sins previous payment of proper "respect" to the Holy Scepter

Lupin III and sweet Fujiko ready to take on Kabukicho

A Big Pink Baby, sweet as a pie

Plastic surgeon Doctor Feelgood and his approved beauty treatement

Lady Gaga pretending to Barbie Gaga

Rammstein in incognito

A Nawashi and his Mjo

And a Couple dressed as Vanillas

Food was had, songs were sang, rope was roped and sins were sinned.

A very successful Halloween night ^_^

Musing #019: Learning then ropes: West VS Japan & words by Hajime Kinoko 一鬼の子

2011-10-20T23:21:00.002+09:00

In my experience, there is a big difference in the concept of learning in the Western world and in the Japanese one, when it comes to something like a martial art or DO 道（way.).

The emphasis in the West is for the teacher to teach and explain the techniques and for the student to memorize them and to continue to do so. In Japan, after the basic technique have been mastered, the emphasis turns to the Sensei 先生 (teacher) just doing his art and for the students to learn by "stealing" with their eyes.

The ultimate scope is not to recreate a copy or the Sensei. The scope is for the student to overcome the teacher and become themselves the next Sensei. Of course not everybody will have the talent for it and they will not move on as teachers. But as a teacher, there is nothing more rewarding and yet sad then being overcome by their own student.

But before the student can move on to create their own 道 way, they need to master the basic, to the point that their body knows what to do without their mind having to tell it to do it. Only after the basic are understood, the student is ready to break from tradition and create his own new one.

When it comes to learning the ropes of Kinbaku and Shibary, (yes, pun intended), here are some words from an interview with Hajime Kinoko by KabukiJoe (and here are some more words from it )
(note: HK seems to use Kinbaku and shibari pretty much interchangeably)

"Akechi Denki is my biggest influence. 3 month before dieing he came as a Kimbaku Teacher to my club and talked and showed some Shibari. When I saw his Shibari, it was different from anything I had seen before. What was different, is that all the other [kinbakushi] where just like following predetermined patterns on how to tie, like those Plastic Model Sets you put together and you all get the same toy at the end.

Akechi Denki [rope] instead was [like] clay, adjusting and fitting to the model's body at hand, with a freedom and a flow of the rope matching the model. It looked very free.

Also, after seeing Akechi Denki, my own shibari changed and I now try to read where my model "wants" the rope and go from there. I don't start anymore with a plan on what and how to tie, but I go with the moment by moment flow of the sensation from my model and make them into rope, and I think my shibari got more beautiful because of it.

It is not that Akechi Denki thought me that, I felt it by watching him.

From many different teachers, watching different teachers, you learn by stealing the good of each and making it your own.

The techniques I learned from different teachers, but the soul of shibari, I took it from Akechi Denki. "

Musing #018: No, being into BDSM does not make you a superior being

2011-10-11T23:01:00.000+09:00

Why is that there are often many that needs to claim a higher meaning, to attach a noble scope to their desires?
Why is that that very few have the courage to declare that they like xyz because it makes them hard/wet (or their partner hard/wet), feed their ego (their partner ego) or simply it give them a high?

All this need to give a philosophical higher meaning to our basic instincts and desires. All this theorizing on the whys and the meaning of the whys. All this need to feel superior, noble, advanced.

Let's be honest here: we are animals, we like to fuck, we like to have and exercise power (or to feel it/bask in it), we like to have fun.

And there is nothing wrong in having fun just for the sake of it.

(Disclaimer: Understanding ourselves, our desires, our needs, it is actually something I believe it is very valuable, a necessary process to live a fulfilling life. It is the often underling claim that people into BDSM are somehow evolved being and depository of a superior understanding of sex and relationships that I believe is deluded and down right insulting to the many wonderful 'nilla of this world. )

"Sweet dream are made of: The One-night-stand Unicorn"

2011-10-01T23:12:00.000+09:00

Chapter 2: Manolo or Jimmy Choo?

We all know that rules are just what we use when we are too chicken to say no. It was not any different for me: my rules were in place yes to protect myself, but also to cut short unwanted patrons.

However, rules were also meant to be broken. And in a moment of boredom, I did something that I never do: set up a quick meeting without any of the preliminary get-to-know-each-other back and forth that I use to create my character, their dreamgirl. Instead, it was the closest thing to the real me that showed up for drinks.

He played his cards very well and by the time I understood exactly what he wanted, it was too late to pull out and, honestly, I was curious myself to see how it would go. After all, as it seemed to be one of men's most common fantasy, it was perhaps time to make it happen for this lucky fellow (beside, he said she was a read-head and from experience they tasted pretty sweet.)

The plan was set in motion on a Friday night. It was going to be a one shot deal, and to preserve its organic pretense of a chance encounter, they had no idea who I was and how I looked like, a part for the fact that I would be dressed in red, her favorite color.

I spotted them right away, sitting at the far end corner of the expensive hotel's bar they were staying at. Casually and yet elegantly dressed, they were sipping their cocktails, chatting as any normal couple, enjoying each other company, on a relaxed night. I had to admit he was being an incredible good actor as not once, in the 20 minutes I observed them from the counter he looked toward the door.

I had wanted to arrive early to observe them, to learn as much as I could about her, about him, as I only had the scant information he provided when he contacted me to go from. So from my vantage point I observed: I noticed the way his eyes would lit every time she looked at him; I noticed the way her head would tilt to the side when listening to him talk, how her eyes would follow his lips; I noticed the way their whole body language create an island of intimacy between them and for the first time since accepting this strange gig, I felt that I did the right thing.

The bar was finally filling up with the usual Friday night crowd of professionals and high end call girls. It was easy to spot the locals from the travelers as the latter had an aura of euphoria surrounding them that screamed "free for fun!" to even the least trained eye.

It was time to start moving. With a boldness I did not really feel yet, I sent a drink over to their table. A cliche move that I hoped would put a smile on their face. The drinks on their way, I sat angled toward them, waiting for their reaction.

I made sure to tell the waiter to address the lady first and compliment her on her lovely hair (he had mentioned she was extremely proud of her long red locks). A moment of confusion before they understood what was happening and, as I hoped, she turned toward me first. Looking into her eyes I rose my glass and sipping my drink I held her gaze just for a little, before slowly turning around. I could see with the corner of my eye that they were talking. He too had looked over me but I had not turned to him.

I figured I'd let them do the next move, and sure enough the waiter arrived with a little note for me. "How cliche`and yet classy" I thought.

Gathering my drink with one hand, and clutching my purse with the other, I walked over to their table. She did not turn toward me this time but he did, and this time I made sure to not cut my eye contact with him.

I knew it was going to turn out exactly as in their best rehearsed fantasy. Entering the part, I let myself believe that it was indeed a chance encounter and with the best of my smiles I reached the table and introduced myself.

And for a split moment I wished it was not a paid gig.

Cozmo's Bar night with Arisue Go 有末剛: different models create different energies

2011-09-25T00:12:00.000+09:00

Another Tuesday and another rope night at Cozmo's Cafe with Arisue Go Sensei. In spite of being a month later, it was still a hot and humid night. Somehow Tokyo's summer did not want to end just yet.

Arriving at the cafe on my own, this time I felt less shy as I knew I was going to meet a couple of familiar faces, and sure enough a couple familiar faces where there. But this time I also got to chat a bit more with Arisue Sensei, and I have to say he really is a very friendly guy. No pretense, no arrogance.

Somehow ice needed to be broken and in a very surreptitious way, Nuit got me to sit on a empty plastic case of beer, and quietly started to apply his rope. It was such a comfortable tie, that it quickly put a smile on my face and silenced all the voices and worries of the day away. But as all nice things, this too had to end, and the rope got removed, slowly but surely.

However our goal was reached and Arisue Sensei had started his rope session, this time using the suspension point in front of the DJ.

Of course I was not going to miss being tied by Arisue Sensei this time either!
He remembered tying me the previous time (yey!) and asked if there was something I did not like or any other problem. Still aware of my recently discovered sensitivity to rope wrapped around my upper arm, I mentioned it to him, and he decided to go then for a chair tie this .

Relaxed and sitting on the chair, the rope started binding me to it. First the upper body, then my hips/waist, than mi thighs and lastly my ankles. And because ideas often come in a spur, with the help of one of the spectator, he picked up the chair and positioning it under the suspension point, he started priming the chair to be suspended.

Surely enough, I ended up hanging, chair and all, from the suspension point.

And if I thought it would be easier to be suspended this way, I quickly discovered that with the added weight of the chair, the rope was pulling harder, and at the same time, because the suspending rope was rigged through the chair and not me I could not feel directly its tension, making me feel in a somewhat more precarious situation.

Interesting how the biting ropes manage to give a better sense of being carried, even it it hurts more ...

Lowered from the suspension, still tied to the chair, my head got pulled backward and my hair tied to the back of the chair, before having rope passed across my face and my mouth.

I confess I did not relax at all during the chair suspension. The fact that it is hard to relax when you are being tied by such a master, and the fact that I really did not know what to expect with suspending the chair, it kept me fully alert. But when the rope passed over my face and mouth, suddenly, I was totally overwhelmed by the rope and the predicament of the position I found myself in. And finally the rope worked its magic and by the time I was released from them, I was floating happily in my own happy bubble.

After a little break to celebrate a few birthdays, rope was back with a vengeance, and Arisue sensei found himself very busy tying starting first with the birthday girl. Her high energy and athletic body made the yokotsuri acquire a sort of sport-like quality.

The following tie turned out very interesting when Arisue Sensei tied a girl while her boyfriend played some ethnics drums as a background sound. The combination of the primal rhythm and the magic of the rope made for a very gripping show and everybody was just mesmerized by it all, watching Arisue Sensei's fluid movements somewhat creating a dissonance with the frantic rhythm of the drum.

Then it was time to tie a guy, something of a novelty. The yoko tsuri and the rope wrapped across a manly body gave to the performance and the rope, a totally different quality. Lightness replaced by strength and grace replaced by pride ... and a little bit of apprehension when the infamous flogger showed up and he turned into a reluctantly happy whipping post (pretty light strokes).

And after being the rope test-bunny for a couple more ties, and watching more of Arisue Go Sensei's skillful rope, it was time again for the night to end.

With the promise to be there again at the next Cozmo's Cafe Rope Tuesday.

Musing #017: Rope Bottom Safety Decalogue

2011-09-14T16:22:00.003+09:00

AKA Rope is more dangerous than it is given credit for.

1. Know your rigger.

Just because he/she is someone famous is not enough for you to say you know him/her. Talk with him/her yourself. Knowing who you are letting tie you is very important. Talk and ask questions and get to learn his/her approach to rigging and his/her stance on emergencies.

2. Let the rigger know you.Don't be afraid to come off as a newbie. Be honest with your level of experience and do not try to impress with an inflated reality.

3. Know your body's limitations.
Be aware that certain health conditions highly increase risks, and that what you can do one day, you might not be able to do another.

4. Beware of bottoming in an impaired state.

It can be drinks, it can be drugs, it can be prescription meds, it can be lack of sleep or jet-lag. If you happen to be in an impaired state, notify the top and be aware of the fact that there is an increased chance for things to go wrong.

5. Beware of a rigger in an impaired state.
If you happen to know that the rigger has just drank and/or done drugs, or has taken certain kind of medications, is sleep deprived or has any other condition that makes his alertness be decreased, be aware of the fact that there is a higher chance for things to go wrong.

Reaction time is going to be slower and and in some cases their sense of what they can do might be skewed.

6. Do not check out.
Rope feels wonderful and often will put you in a very relaxed state (subspace, whatever you wish to call it). However to reduce risks you need to be aware of what is going on with your body, so while getting tied, make sure to keep track of your circulations and nerves by wiggling your fingers and toes, and by test-wiggle any body part or articulation that can be prone to problems.

Remember that there are also hidden risks that might not be apparent at first so listen to any signal you get from your body, be it a tingle or an ache. And be aware that nerve damage can happen in a split second and with the rope sliding as little as one millimeter.

7. There is no hurry.
Don't fall victim of lust or of the excitement of novelty. There is plenty of time to try everything if you simply don't damage yourself.

8. It is not a competition.

Just because such and such can do and endure something, it does not make them better bottoms than someone that cannot. Or because you have tried A,B,C it does not mean you have to move on to X,W,Z.

Just because you had had a sideways suspension does not mean you need to move on to an inverted one.

9. Never let your ego speak for your safety .
You might have being tied over 100 times by almost as many riggers, but it takes only one time to be permanently injured or worse. So Just because you have experience, do not fall victim of the idea that you can be nonchalant in your approach to rope bottoming.

The underline risks never really decreases. But what you can decrease are the avoidable ones.
10. No rigger'ego is worth your health and life.
Do not be afraid to speak up if you feel something wrong or are not comfortable with something. No rigger is infallible and no rigger is a mind reader. As such it is your responsibility to protect yourself. Do not burden the rigger with your silence. His ego might get bruised but he will thank you later.

Remember: each body is different and having tied 100 people does not tell anything to the rigger about your specific body.

(Disclaimer:

This is based on my personal experience. It does not pretend to be exhaustive nor infallible nor the only "twoo" way. All it aims is to help evaluate the risks and the consequences of an activity, rope bondage, that I really enjoy.

Also, I've not written anything about the risk of the rigger passing out in the middle of a tie, something that could be a real problem in a private situation and during a strenuous inescapable tie.

Reality is that you cannot eliminate risks completely nor plan for everything. But just make sure to think ahead to the risks and probabilities involved and what would you do if something goes wrong.)

Monday night at Indigo - part 2: よい Yoi-san & more rope

2011-09-10T22:14:00.000+09:00

Continuing from part 1

Somehow I did not manage to get redressed and before long, I was made to crawl and ask Yoi-sama (Nawashi, Mama-san of Enma in Shinjuku, she too will be performing at London FARJRB) to tie me as well.

I had never been tied by a woman before, nor seen any of Yoi-sama's work, but having seen a couple of energetic (and sadistic) performances by female nawashi, I did not necessarily expect it to be a gentle session.

She asked about any potential problem, and after explaining to her as well about my recent incident with radial nerve compression, she proceeded with a TASUKI style breast harness. Then a waist rope was used to pull up first one leg and secure it almost straight up, leaving me leaning on my shoulder, and then my other leg was also tied in a folded position so that I was resting my weight both on my knee and on my shoulder, as the chest harness she employed was not going to be appropriate for a full suspension.

The way Yoi-sama applied the rope, was all along very slow and precise, with a steadiness of pace and calmness that was soothing almost like a lullaby, allowing me to relax in her rope's embrace, lulled into a trance-like state. When the first leg was pulled up it was really uncomfortable, but the moment the other leg got folded and I could rest on its knee, it became incredibly comfortable to the point that I could have fallen asleep. But of course this was the end of the gentle part.

Yoi-sama grabbed another bundle of uncoiled rope and started using it as a flogger to hit my spread tights and between my legs. The sudden change of pace and the hits shook me out of my trance, eliciting squeals and little cries.

Of course it could not be passed on to hand out a heavier implement, and surely enough a heavy flogger replaced the gentle rope, and the hit on my tender bits managed to make me wiggle and pull on the ropes, totally present and aware of my predicament.

As it started, it was also time to end. Yoi-sama with the same care and steadiness, removed the ropes, one piece at the time, until I was a spaced out happy girl on the carpet.

In the meantime, some of the action had moved upstairs while I was being gently wrapped up by Yoi-sama. And before I could really recover, I found myself offering my wrist to be tied and once again the whirlwind of rope and emotions and sensations started.

But first, this time, after having my hands secured to the suspension point, my skirt also got removed, and the heavy flogger that had appeared in Yoi-sama's hands, was not being wielded with much more strength and purpose, hitting my hips and thighs and making me jump around on my bare feet.

Between the sensual (sexual?) rope of Shuhei-sensei, the embracing rope of Yoi-sama and the hard hits of the flogger, my senses were starting to get overloaded, and the NdT's rope that followed, (a side suspension), with its intensity, roughness and painfulness just brought me very close to my limit. So when he started spinning me around (something that is very hard for me to endure even in a normal state), it overwhelmed me completely to the point that I had to ask for it to stop.

Quickly I got stopped, and quickly but gently (in a high contrast with the feeling of the rope when it was applied) the rope got removed, until I was directed back to the sofa to my visiting friend, dizzy, shaking and exposed.

My heartbeat racing, my mind jumbled, my body covered in lovely rope marks, I sat there, enjoying the other rope action going on all around.

Monday night at Indigo: 北川周平 Kitagawa Shuei

2011-09-09T20:34:00.000+09:00

A visiting dear friend wanted to see the rope world I've been describing in this blog. Serendipity works in funny ways, and thanks to another friend's head ups, we found ourselves walking into Indigo, a cozy bar up some steep stairs in Roppongi, where, on Monday night Kitagawa Shuhei-sensei holds a weekly rope-circle.

It was another hot & humid Tokyo night, and wondering what the night would bring, we walked into the bar. Being a week-night and early in the evening, the place was relaxed and we got to occupy the nice corner table. Shuhei-sensei joined us for introductions and chit chats, and very organically I found myself sitting on the carpeted floor ready to experience his rope.

As Shigonawa Bingo (from Hajime Kinoko's Ichinawa-kai' school) was also there, practicing in preparation for his upcoming show at London FAJRB, Shuhei-sensei decided to go with floor work.

I did not know what to expect as I had never seen any of Shuhei-sensei's work before and we had a brief conversation about problems and so forth. He was very easy going and genuinely friendly, so even though I was nervous for the rope, I also felt relaxed and comfortable enough to mention that he could take off any piece of clothing he wished.

And he surely did take me on my word. It became clear pretty soon that it was going to be a very sensual session ...

Embracing me from behind, he made me embrace myself and with my arm crossed in front of me, he proceeded to remove my t-shirt and bra. The arms covering my breasts somehow made me even more aware of my semi-nudity, and with my head down, he tied my hands together. The next rope was used to bond my thighs together, and then my ankles.

With my hands tied, my arms kept tightly against my body, he started whispering in my ear "怪しい。。。"("aren't you a questionable lady ...") while one hand trailed down to intrude between my legs and making me acutely aware of my vulnerability.

In a sudden strong move, he pulled me back by my hair, making me lean on him, and lowering my hands he placed and tied them just so that I was touching myself. In this exposed and embarrassing position, he fondled my breasts before pushing me back up sitting straight and pulling my hands, still tied together, behind my head, denying me the last pretense of decor I had left.

Again, pulling me back, he bind my breasts in a cup-cake style tie, before moving the rope and sliding it slowly up over my body, up to reach my throat and then down, between my legs. My breathing had gotten ragged by now with the intensity building up, and after whispering some more in my ear " ”びしょびしょうやん。。。" ("soppy wet, aren't we ..."), he untied my thighs, turned me around, and tied me back in a hog-tie, pulling up my skirt and slapping and cupping my ass cheeks, while my head was buried in his lap. Somehow, even burying my face did not help me hide and I knew I was tied in a very exposed and lascivious pose.

It was time to unwind, and laying me back on the carpet, he carefully removed the rope, while I recovered my breathing and bearings.

... to be continued ...

How deep is the rabbit hole - Chapter 5: crawling further down AKA what's love got to do with it?

2011-08-28T20:33:00.000+09:00

Chapter 4

We met directly at the hotel, and after picking the room, we moved in.
As a first thing I was ordered to undress and kneel on the floor. Having quickly transitioned into a submissive mind, I did not hear his next order ...

"I don't like to repeat myself. We'll fix that. Move to the center of the room."

Standing up, I positioned myself under the suspension bar and my wrists got tied to it, with my arms above my head. Reaching from behind, he pinched and twirled my nipples hard while at the same time kissing and biting into the nape of my neck, turning my knees into jello.

The nipple clamps quickly replaced his fingers and while I was still trying to deal with the sharp pain, my ankles got tied with rope and pulled up behind me through hooks in the ceiling, making me hang in a sort of a hog-tied position, with my legs spread open. The pain and discomfort of new the position quickly took my mind off the clamps that were still digging into my nipples.

In a unexpected move, he used a vibrator on my pussy and clit, and the feeling evolved from annoying to good to annoying, while the pain coming from different directions (my hanged wrists and ankles, my back, my clit) made it hard to properly enjoy the feeling.

As to not give too much a of a good thing, the vibrator got alternated with the crop hitting my pussy. Or to confuse my body even more, sometime the crop got to hit my clamped breasts while the vibrator would be left humming against my pussy.

The overwhelming confusion created by the vibrator, the numbing of my hands and feet and the crop hits, caused me to start to panic and I had, for the first time, to call out one safeword.
"Yellow, Sir!"

Everything stopped right away.
"My hands are starting to feel numb, Sir."
Quickly, he took me down, and for the first time a praise:
"Good girl."

Once I was down on my feet, I got told to get on the bed and I positioned myself.
"Are you going to oppose resistance?"
"No Sir. I'll try not to."
"Good."
And with that he took my ass. The sudden pain made my body jump and I tried to move away. However his hand in my hair directed me back in position, and staying as still as possible I let him in.

The harsh and powerful pounding just reverberate through my whole body, leaving me sore and aching.

"I have a present for you. I hope you will hate it."
He handed me a little bundle. It looked like rope but then I realized it was a rope-thong.
"Wear it at dinner."

Done and cleaned up, I got ready to go to dinner wearing my present: the rope was rough and scratchy on my delicate bits.
"It looks good on you. Let's go."

Sitting in the cab, with the rough rope digging into my freshly abused pussy, I could not avoid squirming a little.

Dinner was, as always, great, and we spent it flirting with the sweet cute waitress that was assigned to our table. By the end, we were both aroused and my teasing him was met with a stern:
"You'll pay for it."
"I wish I could suck you right now, Sir."
"How about under the table?"
It was not an order and as I did not feel comfortable he did not press the matter. However he moved next to me and rising my skirt he yanked on my rope panties.

We were both not ready to call it a night yet, and we moved on to the next place, a cigar bar. On the way there, he kept on yanking on my rope panties causing me to wiggle and move.
"Sit still."

In a moment of impulsiveness I reacted defiantly by turning my head away from him. His hand in my hair, pulling my head back to a 90 degrees angle reminded me of my place.

"Never turn away from me. Ever."
Pulling more on my rope panties we arrived at the cigar bar, and before entering, my face got slapped a couple of time to stress the point made in the cab.

With my eyes down, we walked in and settled down at a table, in the far corner of the bar.

Whiskey and a cigar arrived, and he asked me to lit it for him. Trying not to fumble too much, I managed the task and passed the cigar to him.

"Let's see how it feels."

Pulling my skirt up, he undid the string that kept my rope panties up and took them away. With my pussy exposed, he slowly brought the tip of the cigar close to it and made me feel the heat a couple of time. Even without touching the skin, the heat was enough to make me react by pulling back, earning me another stern scolding.

The desire of sucking him off had not left, and perhaps made bold by the cigar play and the darkness of the place, I just could not help it and went down on him. And the waiter came to bring the bill and collect the payment ...

It had gotten late and we walked out. We both knew from the energy running between us that going for more play would be risky. So we just walked off to a side street and got into a dark entrance.

"Spread your legs for me"

The biting pain of his belt hitting my already sensitive pussy made me crumble to the ground. A couple more licks on my back and he pulled me up.

Crying, broken down, I knew then and there who owned me and a feeble whisper left my lips:

"I love you ..."

Summer 2011 Ichinawakai's Recital 一縄会の発表会

2011-08-27T20:28:00.000+09:00

It was a hot and humid night, and after spending the first part of it with the Tokyo Munchers I decided to end the night by going to Sleeping Beauty for the Ichinawakai's Happyoukai (Recital), show from previous students of Kinoko-sama that have graduated and are now nawashi on their own.

I arrived in the middle of the Recital and unfortunately missed Kinoko's show (and many others as well). But the remaining shows I was able to witness were very good and interesting.

There was a nawashi from Osaka whose show was very passionate and funny.

He mixed comedy element such as when he would pull the rope very fast, almost parody like, following the fast paced rhythm of the music while standing behind the model, and yet at the same time he was intensely passionate when passing the rope on her body.
It made for a very fresh approach to rope, giving the viewers a few chuckles.

Then there was a show by a couple of sexy girls, a Dominatrix and a Mjou (masochist model), depicting a lesbian love-story.

The rope was interesting and unusual, with asymmetric arm binding instead of the standard takatekote. Hot wax was also part of this performance and the mistress made the model hold the candle and then guided the hand to drip the wax all over her own body.

Being a shoe-lover, I especially appreciated when the Dominatrix gave the Mjou a spanking using pretty red high heel shoes before putting them on her feet, and then giving her a red dress.
The mistress tying too was in a red dress and at the end she tied a red ribbon that was secured to the model pinky to her own and bind both their arms together with "fate's red thread" 運命の赤い糸.

It was Shishikawa-san's turn next. His performance with his tiny model was energetic and fast.

He whipped her pretty hard, among other things, before getting her to change many time her suspended position in a fast paced and hard on the model series. A very intense moment was when, after having her upside down, he pulled her up by her hair before letting her fall - controlled but almost free fall - back down to dangling by her ankles.

The shows were all of very high level, as it was to be expected, and they managed to bring different flavors, different interpretation of rope and kinbaku. But it was also clear that they all loved what they were doing, whether tying or being tied. And the atmosphere was one of sharing into a common interest.

And with the end of the shows, it was time to go back to mingle with the crowd, among which there was Kazami Ranki. Hopefully one day I will be able to see him in action as well.

縄師神凪 Nawashi Kanna's Private Show

2011-08-21T22:44:00.000+09:00

On Saturday, August 13th, I had the pleasure to witness a private live show by Nawashi Kanna. 縄師神凪

The location was a nice and cozy space, that allowed for a very close look and feel of the whole experience.

It was going to be a pretty long live show, 90min and after everybody had settled down on their spots on the floor, Kanna-sensei started the music, a beautiful mix of modern Shamisen (by Hiromitsu Agatsuma ), classic music, modern music and traditional Japanese drums.

Kanna-sensei's model (and partner) Kagura-san 神楽 entered wearing a lovely red-based, floral pattern Kimono. And lead by the rhythm and the flow of the music the show started.

I'm not sure I can remember all the technical details, but here is a quick run down of the 6 patterns Kanna-sensei showed us.

The first suspension started with a takatekote. Rope fixed to the suspension point, another rope got tied around her tight and pulled up and then a second rope around her other ankle and that too pulled up and secured to suspension point.

Rope removed, her kimono was also removed, leaving Kagura-san in her undergarments: nagajyuban and underskirt.

This time the rope got applied to her torso in a diamond pattern before being secured up to the suspension point and pulled up until she was left dangling.

Rope and Nagajyuban also taken away, Kagura-san was down to her uder-skirt.

The next suspension was a side suspension, this too executed with precision and incredibly fluid movements.

Next it was time for floor work, and with Kagura-san in a seiza, her arms got tied asymmetrically behind her back, and rope got also passed across her mouth, gag-like. Laundry pegs on her nipples and on her tongue, Kanna-sensei then slapped the ones on her breasts away, causing her to yelp around her gagged drooling mouth.

Then it was time for a back prayer tie and then, underskirt also taken away, Kagura-san was down to her fundoshi (a very nice pale pink with flowers patterned one).

Made to stand, her arms straight behind her back, the arms got tied in a binder and then pulled up and attached to the suspension point. A rope wrapped around her waist and passed through her legs too got attached to the suspension point, making her stand on her tip toes. Pulling on the rope across her pussy, Kanna-sensei would teasingly add and release tension.

And with the last notes of the shamisen dying in the background, 90 minutes had passed and a beautiful show had finished.

It was the most intimate and romantic rope I've seen. You could almost see the love engulfing them, going back and forth as in a delicate and balanced dance of trust and gratitude: she abandoning herself in his hands and him taking the gift and reading into her heart's desires to give her what she wanted.

You could see from her face that she was in total bliss. Her sexy mouth would move as if singing a secret inner song that only she and him could hear.

And us, the public, felt almost as intruders in their secret private world, made of rope, love, eros, devotion and pain.

Kinbaku night @ CozMo's Cafe with Arisue Go　有末剛

2011-08-13T22:57:00.002+09:00

courtesy of Yoroi-Nicolas

It was another hot and humid night in Tokyo, and after a long day I headed for CozMo's cafe in Shibuya for Rachel's bar night with Arisue Go.

I've had the pleasure to meet Kogure-san previously but I've never had the chance to meet Arisue Go Sensei, and it sounded like the perfect opportunity.

A bit apprehensive as I would be walking in by myself, I took a deep breath and arrived at the bar. It was still early and quiet, and the first thing I noticed was a bundle of rope on the bar's counter: somehow it made me feel at ease and I quickly settled on one of the stools and started chatting with a couple of guys that were sitting with it: Becq and Yoroi-Nicolas.

A round of cheers and some Guinness and it was time for Arisue Sensei to start tying his first customer. In the space between the counter and the tables, a high chair was placed and Arisue Sensei started tying a tall and slim trans-lady with a shiny pink shirt.

I had already booked myself, of course, and quietly settled to watch the action. Or so I thought, as Becq asked for my wrists and tied them together securing them behind my head: extemporaneous rope! The night was going to be fun!

As soon as Arisue Sensei was done tying the pink-lady to the high chair, it was my turn.

To start he got me to cross my arms behind my neck and my wrist got bind together, my arms tied as well and then connected down to a chest harness. From there, I was put to sit on a chair as well, and the rope got wrapped around my waist, my hip, and thighs to secure me to the chair. And then down to tie my legs to the chair's leg. More rope to connect the upper harness to the hip/tights and I found myself pulled down, unable to rise my head straight.

It was an incredibly comfortable position, in stark contrast with the high paced music played by the DJ. Airuse-sensei's movement were all very fluid and precise, no hurry, not hassle, and yet quick and strong, almost as if the rope itself was spinning out of his hands, like the thread of a spider-web, embracing and trapping me in it.

Alas it was time for the rope to come off. Rope taken away, I shyly introduced myself to Arisue-sensei but as he was ready to move on to his next rope-bunny, I simply went back to settle at my place. Next, Yoroi-san, that I discovered was a student of Arisue-sensei, offered to tie me and of course I was not going to miss the chance to get as much rope as possible!

This turned out to be a very interesting rope: dynamic in spite of the fact I was statically stuck on a bar stool.

He started by binding my arms together in front of me. From there, the rope got passed between my legs and then secured to my waist, and chest. Put sitting on a high bar stool, first my left leg got folded up and tied to the side of the stool, and then my left one got crossed over the knee of the right one and I found myself in a very precarious and yet balanced position. Rope got then tied into my hair causing me to have to bend my head backward, making me feel even more precariously perched on the stool. Somehow all my sassyness was lost once the rope got wrapped around my mouth.

Rope got untied and retied, my right leg got moved from one place to the other; and perched on the high stool, my balance got unbalanced and re balanced: the fast pace in time with the rhythm of the music, my mind lulling with the rope.

The rope undone and the magic broken, I noticed that some more people that I knew had arrived for the night. So after thanking Yoroi-san, I went to settle down with them. But with all the rope action going on around me, I just could not sit still, and noticing that Becq did not have anybody to tie at the moment, I offered myself up.

The tie was more familiar this time, starting with a takatekote, and slowly but surely, the rope got wrapped around my chest, once, twice. The pace much more relaxed, the feeling of the rope much more familiar, I relaxed into it and simply let it happen. Breast harness in place, the waist rope got passed between my legs before I was made to sit on a chair, and my legs tied to it. I felt so relaxed that even the loud fast paced music almost faded away, and before I noticed, the rope started to come off, but with a quirk: a single rope got tied loosely around my neck to keep me "in place". And when all the rope was off, I thanked him and I was back in the loud and lively bar.

Sitting and sipping on my drink, I was chatting and watching the action going on around me. The lack of a suspension point got fixed by using one of the concrete beams above and Arisue Sensei got to show his suspension skills as well in a lovely side suspension.

The night was not done yet, and one more rope was awaiting me: NdT. The familiar feeling of his rope's energy coupled with all the rope I had before, quickly brought me into my own mind, and there was nothing left but me, the rope and his energy. The rope was fast, precise, wrapping quickly around my breasts and chest in a tight and perfect takatekote.

The suspension point proved very popular, and as such we had to satisfy ourselves with a weaker point to secure the chest harness rope to it. My left leg got then tied around my thighs and pulled up, throwing me out of balance and forcing me to struggle against the rope biting into my arms: suddenly I was reminded of the painful side of rope. Rope got also wrapped around my mouth, my eyes, under my nose and the only sound I could hear was my ragged breath against the gagging rope and my heartbeat against the rope around my head.

But we were not done yet and lastly, my right leg got wrapped and pulled up, and the familiar pain of the rope biting inside my flesh overwhelmed my senses, that had been so far all along the evening, only sensually caressed and soothed by the rope.

Quickly the rope got taken away, first from my face, then from my right leg, letting me back in touch with the ground, then the left one, unsteadily reaching the ground. The time that took to take the chest harness rope away, helped me regain grip with reality.

Totally drunk on rope, I moved back to my little corner, caressing my rope marks, reminiscing the different flavors and sensations and looking across to the multitude of rope enthusiast tying and being tied.

Tokyo Munch Summer time!

2011-07-24T18:48:00.001+09:00

Summer with its strong heat and humidity has been Tokyo's theme for the last month or so, since the rainy season came to a quick end. However, the last few days have been uncharacteristically cooler, due to the left over effect of Typhoon Ma-on.

But last night, it was not the Tokyo summer that warmed up Shinjuku; it was the heat created by the Tokyo Fetlife Munchers (TFMs), with their special brand of normally kinky party style behavior.

It all started at Castle Smap, where in a private room, we enjoyed our food with all we could drink with it (do not get whiskey on the rock, stick with High Ball or beer!). Being a kinky friendly place (the room had an inviting sturdy beam across it), some implement testing was done, with rating going from 0 to 9.5 (the sound level was probably a bit higher than that).

Next stop this time was not Karaoke, but Fetish Bar Amarcord. Kogure-san was not there, but the girls on staff were, as always, friendly and welcoming, and even our contingent of gaijin kinksters did not scare them at all (but then again, they are experienced Mistresses, well versed in keeping their customers at bay).

With the start we had at Castle Smap, things quickly heated up a notch and ... let just say that ropes and more testing took place.
What is it with rope guys that they cannot see a suspension hook without having to tie something to it, possibly a someone not too dressed? And what is with Sadist and Domly types that they cannot see a flogger or a whip, without getting an uncontrollable urge to swing it, possibly against an invitingly soft target? ^_~

So many questions ... there will need to be more on-field research!

(Note to the Tokyo female readership: there was a shortage of female S for our manly M ... so Tokyo Girls: don't be shy and join the munch!)

Lin & the professor - Part 1

2011-07-12T23:25:00.000+09:00

Lin just could not help it. All her friends had a crush on the Literature professor, Mr. Williams: handsome and, they claimed, with the bohemian attitude of an artist. Lin thought he was just clueless. She did not care for Professor Williams, she had a huge crush on Professor Edwards, the Latin teacher. Since the first lesson, when she thought she saw flames crossing his eyes at her horrible recitation of the past tense of the verb "bello" .

Lin honestly hated Latin: why did they have to learn a language that nobody spoke and where the only writing available were either about some war campaign or some religious stuff that bored her to death, she had no idea. But since Professor Edwards had been appointed to her class, Lin had developed a sudden interest that made her work very hard to catch his attention. And with all the questions that she was suddenly having, it wasn't that hard. And, beside, her translation were always the worst in her class.

Arriving at the teachers offices' wing of the school, Ms. Rose took her name before leading Lin toward Professor's Edwards office. Ms Rose was one of the secretary, the only one that always tried to talk and be friendly with the students, and today too she was chatting about the weather and the up-coming school festival. Lin was just too distracted by the notion she would soon be alone with Professor Edwards in his office to pay too much attention to Ms rose and just nodded and made affirmative sounds here and there.

Professor Edwards office was at the end of the corridor and for a moment Lin thought that Ms. Rose looked relieved when they found the office empty. Ms Rose let Lin in the office and told her to wait for him there, and closing the door she left.

The office was like all the other teacher's offices: desk opposite the door, window behind it (this one facing the school's grounds) and book shelves on both sides; two chairs in front of the desk and a little table with sofas between the door and the desk. On the desk, a lap-top computer stood semi-opened. Without even realizing it Lin found herself behind the desk and opening the lap-top.

She was not sure if the shock was from what she saw on the screen or from Professor Edwards entering the room but she shut the laptop and jumped back as quickly as possible.

"Miss Okada, thank you ..." Professor Edwards' voice suddenly getting few degree colder, "for waiting".

Lin did not know what to do exactly so just hoping that pretending that she did not see what she saw would fix everything moved back to the chairs while the professor went to take his place behind the desk

"No problem, professor. I just arrived myself" and without stopping "and I'm really thankful for the time you are taking to explain me the Consecutio Temporis. I really love Latin ... "she lied " but it just seems to make me struggle ..." and with that she made a shy smile and her most innocent eyes.

Professor Edward had sat down and opened the laptop while listening to his student badly recited line. Miss Okada did not strike him as someone particularly interested in any academic matter and had been wondering why she was pretending to like Latin at all.

"Miss Okada, I don't think your problem is the Consecutio Temporis..." Professor Edwards said with a bit of a sarcastic inflection that was totally lost on Lin. "But let's see where the problem is."

"Well, Professor Edwards, it's the translation of Cicero's letter 14-04 to his family that I'm having problems with."

"Let's see then"

"Ok, here, around the middle, this sentence ..." Lin pointed at it while trying to read it "too kwid ag..."

"I see the sentence. So what's the problem?" Professor Edwards interrupted Lin as he could not bear listenig to such butchering of this fine language by his student ... even though the view of her young breasts from the far too unbuttoned shirt tempted him to let her continue.

"Well, it is the kwod me ..., here between the two semi colons that confuses me ..."

Professor Edwards had noticed that the rest of the translation was a total mess, and was starting to find this whole production, trying to seem genuine in her questions and jer interest for the Latin Language, somewhat amusing.

"Why don't you write it on the black board there. Write the Latin sentence and your translation, and let's see."
Lin stood up and approached the black board and picked up the chalk."Miss Okada, write the Latin sentence on the top of the board, please."

Lin was a petit girl, and the only way she could reach the top half of the black board was by standing on her toes and stratching her arms above her head. The action made her shirt rise on her back and with her low rise short skirt, the bottom part of her back was exposed, giving also a peak of her nice slender waistline. She had noticed Professor Edwards' gaze indulging on her breasts while she was reading, and she could feel his eyes burn into her skin.

Trying not to let her hand tremble too much she wrote the Latin sentence:

Tu quid egeris nescio: utrum aliquid teneas an, quod metuo, plane sis spoliata.

"The translation now. First the word by word one and then the sentence."

You who happened don't know: other things had or, as scaring, plain have you naked

Professor Edwards thought Lin was showing a lot of courage by coming to his office, asking a complicated question on something she had utterly not idea of. And all in all her present translation was much better than anything she had achieved so far.

You don't know what happened: something else or, frightening, you are plain naked **

Holding her chalk, Lin turned to face professor Edward. Having felt his eyes on her back all this time and his current enigmatic smile was more than she could bear. Shyly, she lowered her gaze to the floor.

A simple action, very common among each and every student that had entered his office and had been stood there writing on his black board. And yet Professor Edwards had never felt such a strong visceral reaction to it.

"I see ..." A pensive whisper.

"Miss Okada. I'm afraid it is all wrong."

Lin knew it, but hearing it still made her feel bad. And smaller.

"But if you are willing to work hard, Miss Okada, I think there is a chance for you to improve ... " a plan was forming in Professor Edwards' mind. It was risky, but he thought she was worth it. And he had never been wrong before.

There was something in Professor Edwards' voice that made Lin's knees tremble: like a foreboding of something that would change her life, if she would accept...

** Correct translation: I don't know what could have happened to you: whether you still have something, or, as I fear, you have lost everything.

鵺神蓮　Yagami Ren - the magic just cannot be helped

2011-07-06T10:25:00.000+09:00

I was still recovering from my previous experience when Yagami Ren arrived to the party, casually dressed in black cargo pants and black shirt instead of his trademark kimono.

After intermingling with the party folk, he was asked to show his skills and, graciously, he accepted. He was still setting up on stage when the party host grabbed me by my hand and basically threw me to him to be tied.

Not that I minded, you know: I have this huge high-school girl crush on Yagami Ren-san, and any excuse I'm given to be close by and under his rope, is more than welcomed! *blush*

I apologized for my invasion of his space and for imposing myself on him, and with a bow, I positioned myself to start by sitting in seiza in front of him, with my back to him.

Perhaps because the start was so sudden, with no build up or anticipation, it felt at first a bit detached. But slowly and surely he had me in his spire.

This time too, he started out by creating this very intimate space and energy between himself and me, by caressing my shoulders and letting his hands run the full length of my arms before grabbing my hands and positioning them behind my back to be bind together.

He quickly had me in his rope space, and with the chest harness in place, I got pulled up first standing on my knees than standing on my tip toes as the rope got fixed to the suspension beam. The whole process was punctuated by his constant body contact and by making sure to let the rope (and its pain) overwhelm me at each step.

As much as Osada Steve's tie felt about overpowering me, Yagami Ren's felt about me being overwhelmed by it.

I was not suspend completely this time, but pulled up by the rope attached to my chest and waist so that I was standing on my toes hanging from the beam in a way that my ass stuck out, and after pulling up my skirt, he hit my butt and upper legs with his (new) black hand fan.

It hurt much more than I expected! But not enough for me to stop him and I took it, albeit whimpering. Again, with his meticulous and constant physical contact, he slowly untied me, making me hold the fan that hit me in my mouth, something that made me drool and feel shy and self conscious.

And when the rope was gone, I was left melted, as a puddle of goo, and with a warm embrace he brought me back.

Yagami Ren's tie too was different then the first time I experienced it and I believe it was because of the situation. The first time was after his show, and he was still high in his Top space. This time he was just pulled out from the party and he also knew that among the public there were very discerning eyes, such as Osada Steve and Yukimura Haruki and other less famous but still very good nawashi.

There was a lot of rope action going on and I just could not watch them all and I missed many good ones, such as Yukimura Sensei's. But I did get to watch more of Yagami Ren: first when he playfully tied himself to the suspension beam creating a swing with his body and letting one of the small Japanese girl sit on him. And after that, tying up the same Japanese girl. For this, Yagami Ren was back in his rope Top space, and the whole process of tying her and suspending her and untying her (took about 1 hour), left the girl crying in pure joy and bliss.

長田スティーブ　Osada Steve - rope is not (always) gentle

2011-07-02T15:13:00.000+09:00

The party was moving along and Yukimura Sensei had just finished his performance, when Osada Steve summoned me to be tied.

After the first time I experienced his rope we have run into each other on different occasions, but without any chance to repeat the experience. So it was with curiosity that I approached the stage.

After the customary bow, I turned around, ready for the rope to start. And it did start. Where the first time, his approach was gentle and he first engulfed me in his energy before applying the rope, this time, it was totally different. The first rope harshly clamped my wrists behind my back, and with swift and strong movement, he wrapped the rope around me.

The suddenness and the fury triggered my fight response, and instead of melting in the ropes, the energy running between us was like a subtle power struggle: I was not openly fighting him or the rope, but at the same time, I was not lowering my guard: if he wanted to make a point of who was in charge, than he had to take that charge.

The whole process of wrapping me into the breast harness, was punctuated by very rough pulls and pushes and hair pulling to position me where he wanted me to be.

I'm sure the process was leaving some of the viewer confused as instead of feeling like witnesses to an engulfing embrace, they were faced with the strident crackle of sparking energies.

But then, he tied a rope around my thigh and pulled me up in a side suspension. Perhaps because of the stiffness that had not abandoned me, the moment my leg got pulled up, the rope bit harshly into my muscle and the pain of it defeated my stubborn defiance, and I found myself once again abandoned into the ropes: he had won.

Time seems to have stopped at that point, and the whole process while I was hoisted up in a yoko-tsuri, is foggy and dream-like.

From there, slowly, he started to unwind and untie me, making sure though, from time to time to stress who had the power, who had won. Humbled, I simply let the rope and his energy took over: resistance was futile.

One leg on the ground, the other to follow; down on my knees, rope thrown on me; head pulled back by my hair to untie the breast harness; more harsh pulling and pushing, all rough physical sensations that felt distant and poignant.

And the same way it all started, the last rope came off, and it was all over. One more lesson had just been thought me by the rope and Steve-Sensei.

浦戸宏 Urado Hiroshi, a living legend

2011-06-28T14:43:00.001+09:00

(also known as Urato Hiroshi - 浦戸宏 - )

The other night, at a private event, I had the pleasure to meet and see Urado Hiroshi, someone that is almost a legend in the SM video and publication world, having worked with famous names such as Nureki Chimuo, Dan Oniroku and Naomi Tani. For more info check out the relevant entries on SMDetective: Urato on SMDetective

He was an old little fellow (78yo), very humble and very sweet. Nobody could have guessed his past by looking at him. And yet, there was an energy in his eyes when he was watching other nawashi doing their thing, an understanding that I'm sure came from many many year of first hand experience.

His trade mark was that he used cotton rope, and when it was his turn, that is what he used.

He chose a little young woman to be her model, a doll looking girl in a cute maid outfit.
You could see that he felt both happy and humble about being given the stage, under so many curious eyes. But he was going to do it and enjoy it, and donned his trademark black sunglasses, he got his ropes and was ready.

He tied her wrists behind her back, and made a simple breast harness. He then moved down to tie her thighs and her ankles. The girl just could not help feeling self conscious and would keep on apologizing in a sweet little voice, for her "hear beat being too loud", a comment that made everybody smile.

Ropes in place, it was time to suspend the girl, and with a little help (she was wiggling a bit too much for him to be able to hold her with one hand and tie with the other), Urado Sensei was able to to secure the rope to the suspension beam and have her hanging in an upside down tsuri. She looked really pretty with her ass bared for all to see by her skirt flipping down.

Urado-sensei did not want to take credit for the rope, and instead invited all of us to applaud the sweet model that did indeed look pretty with her dress flipped up, her body tied and hanging upside down.

I wish I'd had more time talk with him, but with all the rope action going on all around, I was in rope sensory overload and alas did not seize the chance.

"Sweet dreams are made of ... :Manolo's or Jimmy Choo's"

2011-06-28T14:41:00.002+09:00

Prelude

One thing she had learned early on was that men were simple creatures. And she liked it. No matter how complex their dreams and fantasies, the reality was that what they ultimate wanted was to feel powerful.

When she started learning about his desires, she was not sure about it at first. But he was sweet and, well, she thought to herself that she could do with playing "spoiled brat". Just for once.

She dressed up in her most expensive looking and garishly sexy clothing and went out to meet him. She figured it was going to be easy: act sweet and coy, give him lovey dovey eyes, and get him to buy her some nice things.

The meeting place, in front a trendy and upper-scale department store, was for Monday, late afternoon. And when she arrived, he was already there, waiting.

He looked distinguished in his classic suit, but a hint of unease betrayed the fact that he was not used to any of this. However, he had told her, it was going to be the day he would live out his dream: "a young sexy thing to show off at my arm, a shopping spree to spoil her while basking in the envious glances of the other men, and enjoying the wishful looks of other women."

Getting into her role, she approached him with joyful bounce and jumping at his neck she kissed him and squealed in glee, causing the few other people around to turn and look at them. He forced himself to look comfortable, and to ease his embarrassment, she took him under his arm and chatting lightly she dragged him inside the store, away from the curious and slightly reproachful eyes of the middle aged ladies.

He was going to get his dream, and she was going to get her: Manolo's or Jimmy Choo's?

Chapter 3: the one night stand unicorn

Warning & Apology

2011-06-26T13:55:00.004+09:00

It appears that shoes pictures I linked from an external blog for one of my erotica writing were flagged as linked to a dangerous site.

I deleted the oroginal post and re-posted it without the pictures.

Apologies if you received any warning message about infection in your machine. I believe you should be safe as I did not get any infection myself.

rida

Musing #016: "So ... What do you get out of it?"

2011-06-26T00:15:00.001+09:00

This post of the same title by Hedwig, on one of the blog I follow, made me think. And so here is my own answer:

What do I get out of Shibari/Kimbaku.

Of all the activities the fall under the BDSM umbrella, rope bondage, is the only thing where the focus is also on what I get out of it, rather than being only in what I give by taking part of it. What I'm trying to say is that, it is the only activity (so far), that is not done and enjoyed out of submission, but rather for the sensations it gives me.

So, what do I get out of it? Centering and inner peace. Endorphin rush and pleasure (no, I do not orgasm). Stroked ego and exhibitionism. And, when things work out really well and there is a magic connection with the nawashi, I get to feel his/her soul.

It is a given that unless the model allows for vulnerability, there is no way for the rope to create any meaningful connection. And for that to happen, it takes a certain predisposition from the model, but also the ability of the rigger to tap into it. But there is also an inevitable element of service involved even on the rigger side: to create the magic, you have to be able to read your model very well, and at the same time, to get what you want out of her, you need to know what you have to give her in exchange to obtain it (and be ready to).

I would not be surprised if most of the best nawashi, the ones that create incredible deep energy exchanges with their model, are actually switches, rather then pure S. (I(m using S/M in the way it is used here in Japan, when describing on which side of the whip you stand).

Another unspoken question that was risen in the blog (and that I've heard other times as well) is: is it sexual?

And my answer would be that for me it is a yes and no. Yes, because almost everything can be sexual, and even more so when it comes to shared intimacy such as the one created by the rope space. But no, if you refer to hard on, dripping pussies and earth shattering orgasms. (There are women that do have powerful orgasms while being tied up, or even just having rope run on their skin. I'm simply not one of them.)

I love sex, and a good fucking. But if I had to give up either being tied up or being fucked ... I think I would rather give up the fucking. Luckily I don't have to and I can have both ^_^

Tied up @ Black Heart

2011-06-11T21:39:00.000+09:00

Finally I had the chance to go to Black Heart, the Fetish club in Ginza where the famous Hiromi Saotome 早乙女広美 is the mama-san.

It was rope salon night, when the students get to go and practice under the guiding eyes of the Master, enjoy the atmosphere, a couple of drinks, and chatting with Hiromi mama and the rest of the staff.

We arrived during a pause, and were greeted by the mama-san herself. I had heard so much about her from KabukiJoe of SMDetective (a big fan of her) that I felt a bit nervous about meeting such a famous personality of the SM world. But she was very friendly and very nice.

After the "coaster" where distributed (you have to chose between S or M or hentai), we got our drinks and started chatting and Hiromi-mama got all shy when I expressed how famous she was, and even more so when some pictures from her very first AV Movie showed up.

The customers where getting ready for another round of tying and we settled down to watch. A carefully executed takatekote put the woman being tied in a very nice space and she was then led back to the table still all tied up and was given a straw to sip her drink.

Mama-san asked if I liked to be tied, and at my affirmative answer, she suggested to NdT to tie me up. Of course I could not wait for it, and with such an invitation, even NdT could not really pull himself back. So putting any concern aside, and after a quick negotiation on how undress I was going to get (down to my underwear), we moved to the center of the floor.

The tie started out very forceful, covering my mouth with his hand and taking me a little bit by surprise. A quick takatekote was put in place, a tight binding embrace, accentuated by strong pulls and push of the rope and the whisper in my ears that a flogging would follow...

Quivering in anticipation, and secured to the suspension point, my dress got pulled down completely and I, instinctively, crunched down, in a small attempt to modesty.

A waist rope was then placed and used to bind my legs together, and attached to the chest harness, making it impossible for me to stand up straight. In this position, my bottom sticking out, probably looked as it was almost inviting the flogging, and surely a couple of strokes rained on it, making me squeal and wiggle.

Pushed down on my knees, head down and butt sticking out even more, another series of strokes made me yelp some more.

Back up standing again, my legs got slowly pulled up from behind me, until I found myself hanging upside down, slightly crouched, butt still sticking out. Once again was time for the flogger to come in action, and a few more strokes hit my upper thighs and bottom, shaking me out of my rope space and at the same time allowing me to let go of the fear and unease that the up-side down position has thrown me into (nothing like a huge fear to erase a big one).

Between the suspension and the flogger, I was quickly feeling overwhelmed. Adding to it, the rope around my wrists was starting to make my right hand tingle and, quickly but steadily NdT started the untying process. I was first lowered down on my feet and, after I had recuperated my balance, the ropes got quickly removed and the steading contact of his body behind mine, allowed me to reconnect with reality.

神浦匠 Miura Takumi @ Dep. H

2011-06-07T19:28:00.001+09:00

It was the monthly Department H event night and we went to check it out. Miura Takumi Sensei 神浦匠 was also going to have a tying booth and there is where we went first.

Department H's monthly event is a Fetish Free For All sort of a party, with drag queen shows, hook suspensions, strip opera singing and silly cos-play karaoke, all sharing the stage in a fluid succession. The men in attendance vary from the average salaryman hiding behind an medical mask to the all out dressed in drag cross dresser, with the handful of geeky cosplayer and lattex fetish. As for the women, it goes from the cute cos-play dollies to the sexy goths to the body-mod queers and the average housewifes out in a sexy get up.

Me? I was dressed in a pseudo school girl outfit. ^_^

We arrived when the Okama Wedding Dress Show was starting on stage. The "models" walked the stage followed by the notes of all the most famous wedding pop songs (Can you Celebrate, mushi no kekkonshiki, etc), showing off their dresses while the fans in the firs row took pictures (yes, cameras are allowed but to take pictures only of the people on the stage.).

In the middle of the show, it was my turn to be tied up by Miura Sensei.
His movements are not lighting fast but they are very fluid and steady, making the tying a continuous and hypnotic movement around me.　
I was tied in a very interesting takatekote, with my wrists loosely bind together but my palms secured to my forearms. There were also side diagonal ropes that connected to the front creating an interesting kikkou patterns, connecting with the waist rope and with ropes around my thighs as well. After that, my legs got tied together.

Being the first time I had ever met Miura Sensei, being that we were in a pay-per-tie booth in a loud Fetish party, the whole experience did not have any of the intimacy that could have been created with such a tie and Miura Sensei's touch. In spite of all the noise around, the rope still worked its magic and there are background musical blanks where the music I remembered and the one play where not the same.

A photographer on duty took a lot of nice picture, so you can get an idea about the ties and the rope.

Having my hands secured to my forearms seemed to take away a lot of pressure from my wrists, one of my weak point. Also the seemingly loose chest wraps slowly became tighter as more ropes where attached and pulled to create the kikkou. The Side ropes along the outside of my arms also added an "embraced" feeling to the chest harness.
It was a very comfortable rope and I could have honestly spent the rest of the night in it.

And surely that was someone else's idea, as the following customer asked if his girlfriend could be tied in the ropes and allowed to wander around the party in them.

How deep is the rabbit hole - Chapter 4: bottoming

2011-05-05T22:15:00.003+09:00

Chapter 3

Summer arrived with its heat, vacation and bikini time. And for a change, the meeting was going to be in the afternoon. Another difference was that I had been told about some of the possible activities, and even asked about my opinion on them. This would be the first and last time.

Wearing my bon-ton slightly '60s flavored dress with white heels and walking in broad daylight carrying the toy bag, while normal folks and families passed by, made me feel extremely self-conscious.

Again, it had been two months since our last encounter and since I've had any anal sex, clamps or any other kind of pain-play. I knew it was going to hurt a lot, and I knew that with the no visible-markings clause, the blunt of the pain would be delivered to my nipples and pinky bits. As instructed, I had packed the crop, some ginger, candles, clamps, the collar and few chains.

We met directly in the hotel's lobby and after a quick exchange of "Hi!" "Hi. You got a little tan." "Yes, Thanks." he told me to choose the room.

Once we walked in he ordered me to take my dress off but to keep the lingerie on as he wanted to enjoy it a bit (blue lace bra & thong set that set off my nicely tanned skin). He also ordered me to lay all the stuff on the bed, so I went to the task dressed in my lingerie aware of his gaze on me.

After hanging his clothes as well it was time to start. He put me on my knees and secured the leather collar around my neck.
"It has been too long. You'll have to make it up to me."
My first thought was that it was not fair as he was the one that had cancelled the previous time, but I knew better then express such a thought and I simply kept my head down.

Yanked by the collar I got tied to the St.Andrews' cross by my wrists and ankles, and the dreaded clamps showed up: the butterfly on my nipples and the other set on my pussy lips. Of course as it would not be enough to just let the pain be simply excruciating, he started yanking the chain holding them together and pulling them off like that: on and off, on and off, each time punctuated my cries.

To change the flavor of the suffering, he took the crop and started hitting my nipples and my breast and ... my clit. Getting the clit hit was the most painful pain I had ever felt!

Prompted by my screams he asked:
"How much is it on a scale from 1 to 10?"
"Nine, Sir." after a bit of thinking.
"Let's get to 10." And with that, he went back to work: clamps back on the nipples and on the pussy lips, chain pulled and crop swatted.
It did get very close to 10. Very. I didn't cry tears but I got to the silent screaming stage.

From time to time he would comment on how much he loved to make me suffer, how much he enjoyed it. That perhaps one day he should just torture me and leave me on the cross while he fucks someone else ... The words registered vaguely, creating in me, both an incentive to endure the pain and the fear of what would come.

He allowed me a little time to calm down and, after untying me from the cross, he moved me to the reclining bondage chair and bound me to it, leg spread open, by my wrists, ankles, thighs and tummy.

"Did the pain get to 10?"
"Very close, Sir."
"How close."
"If we got to ten, I would have used my safeword."
"When I ask questions, I want a direct answer. We will need to correct that." And with that I knew I gave the wrong answer.

The chair somehow did not allow proper access to my ass, so after a couple more pinches to my nipples, I got untied and ordered on the bed where he went straight for it. I had forgotten how much it hurt and the pain took me by surprise and I just started screaming and trying to move away by sliding up the bed. He was not going to have any of it and with a stern "Open your legs!", he pulled me back down.

It hurt so much.
Usually it would hurt and than there would be like a peak of burning hell and than a kind of pop and a turn to pleasant, but this time, it was just a screaming pain that lasted for a very long time. Eventually it started feeling bearable but at the same time it also felt uncomfortable and I feared I'd pee the bed, the last thing I wanted to happen. So between keeping my my muscles contracted and having my ass pounded, the ass fuck hurt all over again. He, on the other hand, seemed to be enjoying my screams and cries.

After what seemed like forever, satisfied, he sent me to clean up in the open-view bathroom.

Back in the room, he was relaxing on the bed.
"It's good to see you, Sir" kneeling at his side.
"Do you like to see me and suffer when you feel you need to be punished?"
"No. It is not that, Sir."
"Explain."
"I don't understand it myself, Sir. If I think about it rationally, there are so many reasons why I should not be seeing you, starting from the very first one that I do not like pain. I'm not a masochist. So I tell myself that it would be very simple, just cancel or say no ... but that thought scares me even more..."
"Good." My little speech met with his sardonic laugh.

"Ready for some wax?"

Once again I got tied to the reclining chair, leg spread. He was in a much more relaxed mood, and started talking excitingly about wax and wax play.
"I see you got proper BDSM candles. It should not be too painful then ..."
"Yes, I read about it ..." but I kept my cheeky remarks to myself.
I continued instead with what I knew about candles and wax play and suddenly he dripped the first drop straight on my already sore nipple. It felt as if I got stung by a bee! And I jerked suddenly leaning forward.

"You should avoid doing that. Burned hair is kind of hard to cover up." A smart-assed remark from him.

So from then on I tried to make sure I would not jerk too much and he went on to drip hot wax on my nipples, on my hips, on my tummy, on my pussy lips and clit. Each drop hurt of a stinging pain but I also had to admit that I really liked the feeling of the wax cooling off and solidifying on my body.

Done with the wax, the clamps came back on my already sore and hyper sensitive nipples, coupled with more cropping of my already swollen pinky bits. Finally down from the chair I got put to work on sucking him off.

I do really enjoy sucking on cocks, but it is also true that left it to myself, my attention and focus and intensity kind of wander off without a plan nor a purpose, sometime stopping or slowing down at the worst possible moment. Sure enough I made that mistake and took a breathing break at the wrong time. Suddenly yanked up by my hair I got ordered on the bed while he got the crop.

"Spread your legs" and a new rain of hits felt on my pussy.

Back to task I made sure not to loose focus and this time, sucking and deep throating (and gagging and slobbering) I made him cum.

He sent me off to clean up again and then joined in to be washed himself, my favorite part.

"As you have noticed, I'm feeling nice today. Are you still up for the Golden Shower?"
"Would it please you, Sir?"
"I'm concerned about your reaction, as it is something new for you."
"I don't know either, Sir." it was very sweet of him to be so concerned.

"Ok. Let's do it this way." and he told me to stand and straddle the toilet bowl while he peed aiming on my tummy.

Perhaps because washing him had already worn off some of the intensity of the play, perhaps because he showed so much concern, or for some other unknown reason, it felt ok, normal, intimate even.

And it made me wonder how I would have took it if he had just ordered me on the floor and peed all over me, including my head and face, instead ...

Chapter 5

鵺神蓮　Yagami Ren and reflection of a rope bottom

2011-05-01T10:30:00.000+09:00

After the shows and the auction, it was time to allow the public to experience being tied in rope bondage. I can get incredibly shy when it comes to ask things for myself, but thanks to my chaperon, I got the chance to experience Yagami-san's rope on me.

He asked me how I wanted to be tied, and my answer was: "Do something in your own personal style".

I settled down with me on my knees, but he asked instead to sit cross legged to make it less stressful. The unexpected effect was that with my short skirt completely hiked up, my g-string clad pussy was basically in clear view, creating a surprising feeling of "nakedness".

I wanted to remember every detail of the tying and of the experience, so I tried to keep from falling into rope space as long as possible, but I still ended up losing touch with reality, feeling engulfed in a bubble, where all there was was me, the rope, his touch and body against mine, and this intangible vibration running through the rope.

The tie started with a takatekote and continued to a chest harness. He then tilted me back and tied my ankles together, before attaching my chest harness to my ankle rope.

An interesting thing that he did was, when he got to the end of the rope and needed to get a new one, to put the loose end in my fingers to hold on it, something that focused my attention and at the same time made me feel like an accomplish to my own captivity.

His rope felt incredibly gentle and fluid, and yet unyielding and strong. He used his whole body to create the bond and never cut contact while tying, making sure that his body was at least touching mine, if not outright pinning me in place. His movements, his rope, it felt like being slowly entrapped by a snake slowly hypnotizing his victim in its tightening spiraling embrace.

He then tilted my head back and put a cloth-gag across my mouth and .... from there on it all get fuzzy. I remember my breathing getting short, rope being pulled and dragged on my face and breasts, my body tensing, a strong grasp on my shoulders and my body trembling.

I don't remember how long it laster or how it evolved from there, but with the same intensity and precision, he slowly untied me, and as if undoing his spell, I slowly recovered my bearing. My body and breathing calmed down, the surrounding sounds reappeared and with that the awareness of being in a crowded club enticed a little bit of embarrassment.

Still, at the same time I did not want to wake from the dream, and keeping my eyes shut, I tried to hold on the energy that was slowly but steadily fading as well.

Ropes off, the magic gone, I simply thanked him.

(follow the link to read about Yagami Ren's kinbaku show )

"百花繚乱 - the new generation"- Part Three: Charity Auction

2011-04-25T20:23:00.001+09:00

After the shows it was time for a charity auction: the 3 artists put up some of their personal goods with the proceeds to be given to the Red Cross for the victims of the Tohoku earthquake.

First, Kurage-san had a bag of pervy goods including: 5 bundles of his own used rope (prepared and cured Kinoko's style), one huge bottle of lotion, incense sticks and pink Velcro-cuffs (as a joke, in case you needed to be fast and there was no time for fiddling with ropes - he said). Somehow the bidding action started out slow (Japanese being shy and all that), but at the end, the bag went for a good price.

Then the self-suspension girl had a bag full of her own costumes such as cute frilly skirts and a cosplay style jacket and skirt set. This second bag of goods proved popular with the girls and it was quickly snatched up.

And last, Yagami-san had up for grab his very own first flogger (a denim flogger) and the item that caught my attention right away: the paper hand-fan he used during the show. As if that was not enough for me to want it, he offered to personalize it with a drawing (he seems to be also a drawing artist of sort). That alone made up my mind: I was going to have it!

The bidding started and it moved up fast as I was not the only one that had put her eyes on it, but luckily, I won the bid!

So now I posses Yagami-san's very first flogger (it was, of course, tested on me right away and, as the falls are pretty long and the space was small, they inevitably wrapped around my legs, giving me cute square welts where the tips hit) and the paper hand-fan where I got him to write the kanji of kokoro 心　(heart), my favorite. And, of course, signed with his name. ^_^

"百花繚乱 - the new generation"- Part Two: Yagami Ren　鵺神蓮

2011-04-23T18:49:00.004+09:00

(Continue from part one)

Yagami Ren. 　鵺神　蓮
To the sound of traditional instruments, Yagami-san, wearing a blue hakama set, and the model wearing a red nagajuban, walked into the stage.

With precise, steady, fluid movements, he started applying the rope to create the first tie, a takakote breast harness, a typical starting point. He was not using only his hands and ropes to manipulate the model, but his whole body, with many moves highly resembling martial art forms.

In spite of the precise, almost codified way the ropes where tied and applied, with neat knots and no loose ends, the energy was fluid and sensual. Like a spiraling snake, it slowly and steadily bound his "victim" into his and his rope's embrace.

With the takakote in place, he tied her ankles and hoisted her up, suspended in a low gyakuebi position that left her butt and tights highly accessible for the next step, a painful flogging.

The flogger action was really intense: he is left handed, and after a few serious swats on her ass that had me cringe (and grab tightly onto my chaperon's hand), he moved to a double flogging action, with a flogger in each hand, hitting her ass and thighs with a rain of rotating swats, before concluding with a few, well assessed, double handed, double flogger, full weight, potent hits that resembled the movements of a taiko drummer.

After removing the blindfold and moving it to her mouth as a gag, he mounted and sat on her and swirled around for a bit, before getting off and tieng a hip harness to make the suspension less stressful on her back.

With the nagajuban moved away from her legs, you could see the bruises forming almost under your own eyes, a testament to the strength of the hits.

The next step was a staple of SM torture: hot wax. It started out light, with the candle kept high and away, and got more and more intense, until he basically had the candle touching her bruised butt and tights, with the freshly melted hot wax dripping on it. He also dripped some hot wax on her face, before extinguishing the flames against her ass cheek.

He never lost contact with her, and here and there, when moving around, he would grab her shoulder here, her thigh there, and run his fingers along her muscles, and, after "refreshing" her with a few swing of his hand fan, he slapped her face with it.

He then started to untie her with the same precision and intensity and the show ended with a deluge of applause.

It was a very erotic and sensual show, much better then the first time I saw him a couple month ago.

It has to be said that last time it was his very first public performance, and you could see that he was feeling pretty nervous about it. The ties where still very precise, and the synchronism with the music outstanding, but as a whole, it lacked cohesion.

But this time, this show left me totally in awe (it does help that he is pretty handsome, even though in a flashy host-like way), and what I think made a huge difference, beside the fact that he was much less nervous, was the model: the way she reacted to his rope, the way his energy enveloped her and the way she let it happen.

His style of tying is such that the main focus is not solely on the model, but also on the nawashi, and last time, the whole show had a strong vibe of a staged act, with him and the model as two separate entities doing their thing and trying to out-stage each other. This time, instead, they felt like the two sides of a whole, the Yin and Yang to use a overused symbolism, with the focus shifting from him to her and back to him naturally, in a fluid and sensual dance.

I think I just developed a rope-crush :p

"百花繚乱 - the new generation"- Part One: Umitsuki Kurage　海月くらげ and Chiyumi Kochyou　智弓胡蝶 .

2011-04-19T22:14:00.002+09:00

Saturday night the star aligned the right way and I was able to go to this event at Bar 9259.

On stage it was going to be Umitsuki Kurage 海月くらげ (Hajime Kinoko's student) and Yagami Ren 鵺神　蓮; two of the young rising stars of this new generation of nawashi. It promised to be an event not to be missed and it surely delivered on its promises: OH.MY.GOODNESS!

We met up outside the bar and once inside, we were greeted by Kinoko-san that had come over to oversee his ex-student's performance. "I feel [as nervous] as a parent at the school's Undokai ( sport festival) !" he told me once Kurage-san's show started.

Umitsuki Kurage 海月くらげ

It was a fast paced show of evolving suspensions, with a line up of Western pop and rock music as its soundtrack.

Kurage-san and his model, entered the stage together, him in his distressed looking, ripped and sleeveless white judogi, and her in a sweet baby-pink baby-doll. By the time she was down on her knees, ready for the first rope to be applied, she was already fast lost into her own rope-space.

It started with a classic ushiro takakote, followed by a very interesting rope crossed above her breasts, just under her neck. That rope managed to push her into a even deeper sort of trance.

To continue the base harness for the suspension, he then moved to a sort of corset and concluded with a hip harness.

He then tied her bended sideways' legs in position, securing them to the body harness, before hoisting her up from the suspension point in a vertical sitting position.

From there it was a succession of adding and removing ropes, changing her suspended position and form, from the vertical sitting suspension, to a side suspension with one leg stretched and pulled up, then bended backward. Then tying her legs bended at the knee, and then securing the bended legs to her chest. And again rope getting untied here, pulled there, added here, taken away there until he brought her to a vertical inverted suspension, before slowly turning her to a face up position and lowering her to the ground.

His movement were strong and energetic, and the whole show very dynamic.

With each rope added and pulled, with each knot tied and untied, you could see Kurage-san also getting deeper and deeper into his own rope space, with his eyes gleaming with predatory lust and his muscle pulsating with repressed energy .

By the end of the performance, she was too far gone, so after lowering her to the ground and removing the ropes from the suspension point, he simply picked her up, still tied in her basic harnesses, and followed by the crowd's applause, he carried her off the stage.

It was a good show, fast paced, energetic and dynamic, with energies flowing and being exchanged between the nawashi and the model, primordial energies channeled through the ropes and the knots. But from a show point of view, it felt at times as if there was too much rope bundled up and hanging around the suspensions point and columns. It had indeed a practical reason as it all got used for one position or the other, but it created a distracting visual clutter that detracted from the aesthetic of what could have been an even better show.

Unfortunately, I had not had the pleasure to see him perform at Tobaku, but talking with Kinoko-san after the show, he expressed joy in seeing that his student's rope had been steadily improving.

Chiyumi Kochyou 智弓胡蝶

The second number was a self suspension by a young woman. It takes so much strength, balance and concentration to tie yourself, hoist yourself up, go from one position to another, twist and twirl and swing! They athleticism was indeed impressive, and also the intensity she infused in her performance, a sort of suspended dance.

The theme was very dark, expressing the alienating fast paced life in a megalopolis, and the ending, extreme and fatalistic, with her pointing a (toy) gun to her mouth and shooting herself.

It surely changed the total atmosphere of the room, showing another facet of a rope and bondage performance.

(part two)

Musing #015: Cherry blossom

2011-04-17T11:32:00.001+09:00

So I think I'm now finally back and out of my funk.

I have a few "rope world" entries on the making, a tons of sketched out chapters of my "How deep is the rabbit hole" erotica to work on, a couple of ideas on how to continue the "Dream-girl" story and I'm thinking to start a weekly photo-blog entry.

The ground is still dancing and shaking at times, but the sakura 桜　blossomed this year as well, reminding us all that even though perfection and happiness is fleeting, life will always recover and bring new beginnings.

Musing #014: earthquake

2011-03-20T23:44:00.000+09:00

It will be 10 days tomorrow since we shook good.

Tohoku region is still trying to come to term with the reality of the tragedy. Here, we are trying to bring life back to normalcy.

Me? I have just been too tired to write. Or to think.
I guess I'm way more stressed than I'd like to admit.

Musing #013: Shoes!

2011-03-10T14:24:00.001+09:00

I LOVE SHOES!

And my friends know it, and send me nice pictures like this one.--->
And since I love shoes, of course, I own many and still buy more.

One friend likes to remind me that I'm not a centipede and cannot wear more than one pair at the time.

And it made me wonder: if I was a centipede ... would I want all feet to have the same shoe or would I just go crazy and mix and match the styles? :p

EDIT: Aug. 24th, 2011:
I've found the source of the above shoe, thank to a friend.
You can find the designer of that shoes at his blog here! He has many other interesting pieces. Check him out!

Musing #012: 42

2011-03-05T23:05:00.001+09:00

I'm 42 (have been for almost 6 months). I feel much much older at times and much much younger at others.
I'm told I don't look it but I know it's a little lie.
I'm also told I'm very wise for my age, but I'm not any wiser than I was in my 20s. Although I admit I know myself much better now, and have learned to be patient ... most of the time.

So what define our age? What is "age"?
The fact that gravity win its battle? That your mind cannot keep up with the newest technologies?
The fact that you have a lot of experiences on your shoulders? Or that simply you cannot drink all night every night?

Whatever it means, times only goes one way.
And I'll try to learn my lessons, moisturize and hope I'll be around to see how it all goes, as long as possible.

Another participant blog on Tobaku

2011-02-26T16:48:00.001+09:00

Blog from abother rope lover: Hedwig

This link cover the same day I was there, but she also got to see Midori's show. And now that I read about it, I feel even worse for missing it!

And more about Tobaku following the links to Tokyo day 2 and day 1.

Enjoy!

"Sweet dreams are made of ....".

2011-02-20T12:30:00.002+09:00

Handsome, some Indian ancestor perhaps, good upbringing, she thought to herself, studying his resting profile, now that, all not said but done, she was for the first time paying close attention to the feature of her latest customer.

She loved this moment, when tension and need and animal lust released, she could indulge briefly to consider their life in their own totality. She would imagine their daily lives, their routines, how they would wake in the morning, perhaps kiss their wives, how they'd walk in, after a day's work.

She loved imagining all the mundane details, those same details you stop paying attention to after habit sets in. She knew she would never have that and, at times, she'd long and ache for it.

She knew better though than try to achieve it with her customers. Only once, long ago, she made the mistake of believing that perhaps he was her routine, her habitual happiness, the one that, like breathing, you stop paying attention once you have settled down. It wasn't and the downfall, well, let's just say it wasn't pretty.

Since then she had made sure to never let her inner walls down. Nobody would notice it anyway as her goal, her service, was to give them their dreams, whatever shape they took. She now had a 3 encounters max rule, as the risk that they would start mixing up fantasy and reality, and mistake her for reality was something she needed to avoid at all cost. It also meant never giving away anything that would allow them to trace her and track her down, and as such she changed her email every few customer and with the ones she really liked (after all she was a little girl at heart), she had to force herself to forget them.

She had also learned to be picky with her customers. She charged them enough (she had to) and invested enough energy in them that more than one encounter per week was not necessary and would have burned her out by now. This way she could take her time to get to know enough about them, to build their dream girl to perfection (personality, appearance, and so forth).

She was petit and mostly submissive (she had find out with one of them), but she could also pull off also a mean mistress, when needed. But of course she could not be a tall Amazon or a decadently round Botero like figure, so those dreams she could not fulfill. The rest though, it was mostly a question of time and good acting.

Her customer stirred and slowly awoke.

This moment always filled her with apprehension. She had had clients get violent and insulting with her, and other being overridden by guilt and having a melt down. She hated that as it broke the whole illusion, destroying the fantasy world she worked so hard to create for them. She thought they owned to her to at least hold their end and act the part.

Holding her breath she waited for him to open his eyes. His eyes, unfocused at first, took in her naked body laying there, next to him, and a hint of a smile filled them.

Breathing with relief she smiled back to him, back into her role, ready to work on the next chapter of his dream.

Manolo's or Jimmy Choo's

Newasa by Esinem: At the mercy of a stormy ocean

2011-02-13T16:51:00.001+09:00

The club's music was a fast-paced techno pop mix, a striking contrast with the slow-paced beginning of a waist and chest harness. I felt like a small vessel gently lulled on a dark deep ocean under a sky building up with tension and thunder. In contrast with the wind-whirl of the fast-paced music, the rope felt calming and reassuring, the ocean a solid embrace.

Although the rope was carefully and slowly placed, the intensity reverberated from the very first wrap, a controlled force that would from time to time break free and suddenly shake me. As if overwhelmed by a suddenly roaring ocean, the only way through was to abandon myself to its fury; pushed and pulled and submerged and overthrown by it.

Chest harness in place (ushiro takakote), he slipped a rope around my neck and pulling on my hair, drew me up in a kneeling position and then wrapped the rope around my hair. The ocean had picked up and the waves where now matching the fury of the storm in the sky, one with the fast paced rhythm of the techno music in the background.

From there, the neck rope got quickly moved around to wrap across my mouth and another rope got run through my crotch, rubbing and pinching on the sensitive and delicate bits. Stimuli coming from all different places, my brain started to short out with pleasure, discomfort, fear and hope, all mixed together until total abandon was all that was left.

In a state of daze, my hair got pulled back again and rope wrapped over my nose, my eyes and all over my head, triggering the last remaining flight or fight response. However, all resistance and strength gone, I was just a barely unbroken vessel toyed and played with by the stormy ocean.

As if on cue with the changing music (a somewhat softer rhythm), he started to untie me still with energetic, strong and vigorous pulls on the rope, the calming ocean still playing with his toy vessel to the end. I was left in a heap on the floor, rope strung over me, barely conscious, barely aware of my surrounding.

The storm gone, the ocean had laid me on a beach, back to the safety of land.

[If you want to know more about Esinem, check out his website]

48 Hours - Chapter Seven (and last)

2011-02-07T22:30:00.004+09:00

Sunday, 1AM

The floor was cold and uncomfortable. The pain from the bruises, the scratches, the ass rape, the piercing, all seemed to resonate with each other amplifying each single ache. I could not sleep and I sat up, bracing my knees, back against the bed, trying to keep warm with the tattered rag tightly wrapper around my body.

Tears slowly started falling down my cheeks. Salty, warm, silent tears. I was cold. I was hurting. I was tired. I was lonely. I wanted to be home, in my warm bed, with a lazy Sunday waiting ahead. Instead I was here, sitting on the cold and hard floor of a cottage. Sir asleep in the bed, bruised, scraped, aching and with still 50 leashing awaiting me.

Anger and a silent mote of rebellion started to build up inside of me. My new dress was only good for the trash, my nice heels probably scraped and unusable for fancy dressing, and the coat also dirty and basically ruined. He could have told me and I would have worn something less nice!

Wanting to growl, I bit my lips and squeezed my eyes, getting more tears to flow down. In spite of my anger, I did not want to risk to wake Sir up, and suppressed my sobs, lowering my head over my folded knees.

A sudden movement from the bed made me hold my breath, hoping not to have earned myself some one more punishment.

Instead, gently, his hand laid over my head, soothing and caressing it.

This unexpected act of kindness made it impossible to suppress the sobs, and tears flowing, I started shaking and sobbing.

"Now, let's not get carried away. There is another blanket you can use under the bed. I'd like to sleep a bit more and you should sleep to." all the time stroking my head.

Calming down, I reached under the bed, pulled out a warmer, softer, fluffier blanket, and wrapping myself cozily into it, I laid back down, trying to catch some sleep.

"Good girl. You still have 50 strokes coming. I'll let you decide what you want me to use, so think about it. I want the answer first thing in the morning."

The words reached me in my already drifting off mind, fueling dreams of antique torture chambers, suffering girls and handsome torturer whispering "good girl" between each stroke.

Sunday, 6AM

Blankets roughly pulled away, I was awoken from my agitated sleep, and pulled up by my hair I was forced on all four, head on the ground.

"Let's get done with it. What did you chose?"
Images from the dreams still floated in in front of my eyes and I was not sure if I heard the words or imagined them. A strong pull of my hair, cleared any doubt.
"Answer me before I double the punishment!"
"Your belt, Sir." I did not know where those words came from. I did not remember making any decision; and hearing my own voice, I wished I would have asked for the scorpion whip. But it was too late and it was going to be the belt. His belt.
"Good. The belt will be. Strip and get back in position."

It was happening all so fast. And while taking my tattered clothes off of my still warm with sleep body I could feel the urge to pee building up. I knew there was no way I could ask to go, and winching, prepared to hold it in.

"Ready?"
"Yes, Sir."
"No need to count. I'll do it."
"Thank you Sir" not sure if it was a good thing or a bad thing, as it meant the strokes were going to be so hard I would not be able to.

"One" swoosh!
"Two" swoosh!
"Three ... Four ... Five" swoosh, swoosh, swoosh.
"You did good"
"Six" swoosh!
"Seven" swoosh!
"Eight ... Nine ... Ten" swoosh, swoosh, swoosh.
"The piercing looks better than I expected"
"Eleven" swoosh!
"Twelve" swoosh!
"Thirteen ... Fourteen ... Fifteen" swoosh, swoosh, swoosh.
"Too bad for the dress"
"Sixteen" swoosh!
"Seventeen" swoosh!
"Eighteen ... Nineteen ... Twenty" swoosh, swoosh, swoosh.
"You looked really good in it"

While trying to hold the position, and yelping in pain, his words sounded remote and puzzling. Pee forgotten.

"Twenty one" swoosh!
"Twenty two" swoosh!
"Twenty three ... Twenty four ... Twenty five" swoosh, swoosh, swoosh.
"Never forget to wear your lipstick before showing up in front of me."
"Twenty Six" swoosh!
"Twenty Seven" swoosh!
"Twenty Height ... Twenty Nine ... Thirty" swoosh, swoosh, swoosh.
"As soon as we are done here"
"Thirty One" swoosh!
"Thirty Two" swoosh!
"Thirty Three ... Thirty Four ... Thirty Five" swoosh, swoosh, swoosh.
"Go clean up"
"Thirty Six" swoosh!
"Thirty Seven" swoosh!
"Thirty Eight ... Thirty Nine ... Forty" swoosh, swoosh, swoosh.
"I'll want a blow job before breakfast"

And with that, the last 10 strokes, rained down harder and faster.

The leash released and the collar taken off, I was not sure I could stand up. And the need to pee was now stronger then ever.

Crawling yet again, I went to the bathroom, where I found a hot steaming bath waiting for me.
"Yes, you can take a bath. But be fast, I'm getting hungry." Somewhere there was a hint of kindness in his voice.

For the first time I could see how filthy I was in the mirror. Hair tangled up in a mess, dirt striking my face, knees scraped and caked with mud, arms scratched as well. And my new pierced nipples, perkingly stood up in the cold, carrying the extra weight of the rings. And underneath it all, purple bruises, red welts, criss-crossing all my body.

Cleaning up as good as possible before, I could finally soak in the bath. I was so sore that even the hot water felt heavy and painful. Realization that the week-end was almost over added a tinge of sadness to the relief that perhaps there was not going to be anymore pain.

I wished I could soak some more, but I knew I still had at least one task left, and after gently drying my battered body, I went back outside.

He was waiting on the bed.
"Come. Show me your body."
Keeping my eyes down, I stood in front of him.
"Nice. Turn around."
Slowly I turned around.
"Lovely. Now get down to work."
Like a dog invited on his owner's bed, I climbed up and was pushed down on his hard cock.

Happily, I got to work, sucking, and stroking and licking. My pierced nipples making me more sensitive, and somehow aroused, I eagerly worked on him. Simply focusing on him, I could feel his arousal mount, his breathing changing, his body tensing, and like an exploding geyser, his seed shoot down my throat, coating the back of my mouth.

Feeling proud of myself, and thankful for his cum, I licked him clean.
"Thank you, Sir."
"You are welcome. Lay down next to me."
I knew there was not much time left for us to be together and thankful I laid down next to him, nestled in his strong arm, head on his shoulder, quickly drifting off.

Sunday 10AM

Feeling him stirring in his sleep I opened my eyes and realized it was getting time to get up.
"Go fix brunch and then join me in the shower." a new softness was in his voice.
"Yes, Sir." reluctantly tearing myself away from his warm embrace.

Coffee ready to be turned on, fruits cut up, everything else just needing the final touch, I walked back to the bathroom.
My tummy could not help do a somersault seeing his statuary body in the shower, hot water running down his muscles.

Basking in his beauty I walked into the shower and grabbing the soap and wash cloth I started lathering him up, carefully scrubbing his back, his strong arms and legs. And then carefully washing his strong chest and abs down to his cock and balls and then all the way down to his toes.
"I'll finish up here. Get the food ready."
"Yes, Sir."

Sitting at the table, him dressed and me naked, eating, chatting lightly of mundane events, it felt like the most natural of things. His eyes catching my pierced nipples, smiling with satisfaction, and my winching in pain met with a gleeful grin.

"You've been a very good girl. I'm proud to call you mine."
"Thank you Sir ..." blushing and lowering my eyes.
"Next time, it will be worse."
"Yes, Sir."
"I love you. But I love your suffering even more."
"I know Sir. I'm yours for your use. "
"Good girl."

Room cleaned up, belongings all gathered, we were ready to leave the cottage.

The car ride to the station was quiet, filled with a bittersweet silence. We both knew that in few short hours we would be back to the mundane routine of life, my pierced nipple the only long lasting reminder of this week-end's events.

The End

Chapter One

Tobaku: so much to see, so little time and just on me.

2011-02-06T13:12:00.010+09:00

Tobaku run from Saturday, Jan 29th to Sunday, Jan 30th, with over 20 shows and 18 artists from all over the world.

Unfortunately I could only witness Sunday's shows, and even there I had to make painful choices. *sigh*

At the end I was able to watch 4 shows: Hajime Kinoko, Esinem, Naka Akira and the Air Kimbaku Competition.

- Hajime Kinoko (Neo-Kimbaku):

In my mind I named his performance: Kimbaku from Blade Runner; with florescent ropes, the laser beams and the woman totally covered in a metallic black zentai suit, it had a dark and futuristic vibe to it (the music was perfect too, of course).

It was an incredibly awesome performance, something from the future and the past at the same time, a succession of evolving complex suspensions, climaxing with yet a series of inverted suspensions. The whole time, ropes masterly placed and released and moved and adjusted to distribute and change the stress and suspensions point over the whole performance.

A pure art show where the model, the ropes, the laser lights are all tools in the nawashi's hands to create this surreal atmosphere, between dream and wake, fantasy and reality.

The zentai suit clad model was so objectified that you forget that there is actually a real person in there and not a mannequin that has been spinning and suspended upside down for all this time.

As for the sexual element, it was very subliminal: there and yet present, like the fact that each walking person is a living proof of sex happening all the time and yet nobody really thinks about it.

I had to basically remember to close my mouth as my jaw got stuck in the open position, totally in awe of the mind blowing combination of rope skills, spacial and aural mastery (the concept of 間）, and sadistic mind able to push the model to the limit without "breaking" her.

The rope bottom in me started to worry mid-show about her and try to see signs of conscious movements as I could not imagine being used for so long without passing out. She was absolutely fine at the end, proof that it takes actually a good level of communication and knowledge of each other to pull off such edgy scenes.

I wish I had a picture, but it would still not give enough honor to the reality of it.

- Esinem (from the UK):

My title of his performance would have be: "Love hurts (and it hurts me too)."

With a totally different feeling, it started off with a very slow paced and sensual newasa, where you could feel the emphasis was on the woman: tied and tormented because a love so intense can only hurt.

Hot wax was poured on her while she was still sitting on the floor; the hot wax as a symbol of the hot feeling running between the nawashi and the model, the torturer and the tortured. And in all that, the torturer deeply connected and feeling the pain he is inflicting.

From there, he moved to a quick paced suspension, where the emphasis was more about the pain, with changing ties culminating in flower placed in the ropes and hit off with a single tail to the yelping of the model, in a symbolic deflowering.

The torturer satisfied, she was released and the love/care reestablished.

- Naka Akira (a rope legend):

It was a very simple and slow paced performance and yet a very intense and sadistic one, about "shaming" the woman, making her self conscious of her own helplessness and vulnerability, before taking advantage of it. My title for his performance would be: "deflowered"

He started by tying the woman's torso and hanging it slightly off balance to the suspension point, and let her alone to wallow in her own feelings, stew in her own shame and contemplate her state. The tying too was very precise and yet detached, adding to the sense of isolation.

No touchy-feely, only rope and zeme　責め。　　.

With each new rope and tie, she would be left to sink deeper into her own loneliness, resigning to her fate and destiny.

He then wrapped her mouth and nose with a tenugui and he got such an evil look.

Suspended and defeated, he showed a little moment of tenderness, just before the flogger came out and her screams filled the room. (Gosh! now that was hard for me ... I could not help it but winch and cringe and feel her pain.)

Satisfied, he quickly fried her from the ropes.

- Air Kimbaku:

It was kimbaku/SM comedy skits without rope: hilarious and very good! A totally Japanese geeky shimoneta 下ネタ comedy thing that I'm sure was lost on many of the viewer not familiar with Japanese pop cultural references.

What I unfortunately missed on that Sunday are the following: Midori, Osada Steve and the other Ichinanwanokai members.

Next year!

48 Hours - Chapter Six

2011-01-20T22:47:00.003+09:00

Saturday, 5PM

Rested and bathed, I looked through my wardrobe to pick the outfit for dinner. I brought a new mini-dress that I was hoping he'd like. Something black that tied at the back of my neck, with an open back and little capped sleeves, and a flowing line that gently caressed my curves, without being skin tight. I could not wear a bra with the dress and feeling the material over my pierced nipples sent jolts through my body with almost each movement.

Finishing it with fish-net tight high, a silky thong and 9cm high heel mary-janes I worked on the make up.

For a change I thought to wear fake eyelashes, and after struggling with the glue, I managed to position them, and with some well applied eye-liner and mascara, I felt actually impressed with my eyes. A nice red lipstick to finish the look and I sat on the bed, waiting.

Right then the door opened and Sir walked in.
With a side glance in my direction, he headed to the bathroom.
"Come. I need you to bathe me."
Surprised, shocked and a bit hurt, I knew that complaining was not an option, and I quickly undressed and hoping not to mess up the make up, I headed to the bathroom.

"I don't like waiting." a quick hard slap across my face.
"Do a thorough job. Don't rush. And don't make me late for dinner." With that, he turned his back to me and turned the hot water on. Grabbing the soap and wash cloth, I started lathering his back, while water splashed uncaring all over me, my head and my face. Turning around to have his front washed, he added another face slap.

"Just because." and looking away from me "Nice eyelashes. You'll need to fix them. Smeared like that, you look like a cheap whore."
I knelt down to wash his legs and once done he turned the water off.
"Suck me."

Pushing all thoughts about what I needed to do all over again to be ready for dinner, I started sucking him.
"Drink" and with that the familiar bitter and acre taste of piss filled my mouth and I tried to swallow as fast as possible, gagging and spilling it down my chin and chest.

Done and washed up, he left me in the tub with a last order.
"Clean up. Fix the make up and get ready. I'm leaving in 15 minutes."

Knowing that there was nothing left to save of my previous make up, I took the fake eyelashes off, washed all the make off, counted my blessing as I had the presence to wear a cap to protect my hair and washed my chest being careful not to hit the nipples.

There was no time to waste, and bringing my make up out with me (the mirror was fogged and useless so I'd have to use the one in the outside room) I left the bathroom and put my clothes back on, all the way down to the shoes.

Standing in front of the mirror to work on the make up, I could see Sir walking toward the door.
"5 minutes." and he walked out. The sound of the engine told me he was waiting in the car.

Trying not to mess up the eyeliner, I applied the fake-eyelashes, mentally telling myself how stupid was to put eyeliner before gluing the eyelashes. Luck was on my side, and even with shaky hands I succeeded to apply the eyelashes at the first try. Mascara on, I quickly grabbed my coat and bag and walked out with the lipstick in my hand.

I just had barely time to sit that he locked the doors.
"The lipstick is not on yet. 50 extra strokes as punishment" and with that he started driving away. I had to wait until we reached the main street before I could try to apply the lipstick. And trying not to make a mess, I managed to put it on before we reached our destination, a small but incredibly luxurious looking building, with a little sign next to the door.

Inside, the low lights showed a corridor with several doors, all leading to private dining areas. The concierge took our coats and lead us to our room. The excitement and the fabric of the dress rubbing on my pierced nipples had made them stand up, and I tried self-consciously to hide behind Sir, but he firmly pushed me ahead of him, in clear view of our guide.

I saw his eyes taking in the sight, and professionally ignore the obvious fact that I was braless and my pierced nipples were showing through, in a country where everybody wears padded bras and not a hint of a nipple is ever visible.

For some reason with my attention focused on my nipples, I suddenly realized that my back was showing welts and bruises. Something even harder to explain and hide. Blushing with the realization we sat at the dinner table and the champagne arrived.
No menu, no asking what we wanted. Everything was already set up.
"Cheers" and with a light clinging of the glasses I took a sip.

Delicious food arrived, elegantly, calmly, the waiter never looking at me. Without a word we ate and with each bite the apprehension for what was yet to come made swallowing harder and harder and the embarrassment for my nipples and marking felts as the least of my worries.

Saturday 9 PM

Back in the car, we drove back yet again without a word. Now my heart was beating so hard and my mouth feeling so dry that I feared I was going to faint. At the entrance of the private street that led to the cottage Sir stopped the car and opened the passenger door.
"Out. You are walking back."

Alone at the entrance, the car drove, leaving me in almost complete darkness, the faint moon-light seeping through the trees the only guide to my steps.

I did not understand what was happening. But I knew I better start walking. Shacking slightly in the cold, and trying not to trip on my heels, I started my climb back. The street to the concierge was paved and easy to walk, but the path to our cottage was unpaved, much more narrower and dark. Still there was nothing to do but walk. One step after the other.

Suddenly I saw a light dancing in the trees. The darkness, the tension, all contributed to create a crescent sense of panic and I started to walk faster, trying to understand where the light was coming and more important going.

My breath heavy, panic rising, I tripped over the uneven pavement, breaking my stockings and scratching my left knee. Still the light seemed to get closer and in my frantic mind it seemed as if I heard the panting of a big animal together with the shuffling of feet and paws.

Trying to stay calm, I resumed walking as fast as possible. I could see the cottage in front of me, just 10 more meters. But the lights were off and I could not see Sir's car. Panic rising once again a hand grabbed me by my hair and with a hand pressed against my mouth threw me face down to the ground. I tried to get up, to bite the hand, to scream, to free myself, but I was just not strong enough.

One hand on my mouth, one knee on my back, the other hand just ripped my thongs off before taking the place of the knee in keeping me down.

My mind was going blank, I was not sure what was happening. I desperately prayed for Sir to arrive, to rescue me, to stop whomever this person was.
"Always slow" and while recollection was dawning on me, he impaled himself in my ass.
My hands flying around, my knees scraping on the ground, the pain of the assault, it felt like it took forever before he came.

I was filthy, I was a mess, the dress, the stockings, dirty and tattered. Make up and dirt mixing on my face.
"Up". Without much cerimony I'm dragged by my hair back inside, thrown on a rag positioned next to the bed, I'm collared and leashed to the bed's leg. A tattered blanket and a bowl of water next to me.

"You are too filthy for the bed and I'm too tired to wait for you to clean up. Try not to make too much noise." And with that he went to clean himself up to the bathroom while I tried to recall my wits. I had to pee. I would not be able to make it through the night.

Hoping on a act of mercy, I waited for Sir to come back and apologizing I asked to be allowed to pee. He weighted the situation and his options while I waited kneeling, eyes low to the ground.
"Go out. Get done and come back quickly." and with that he untied the leash.

Crawling as fast as possible, I headed out of the cottage, and in a dark spot around the corner, I peed, trying not to splash my shoes and leash. With the pee, tension also left my body and shacking I started crying. There was not time to feel sorry for myself, and cleaning up with a torn off piece of the dress, I rushed quickly back to my rag and blanket, next to Sir's bed.

Without a word he secured the leash, laid down, turned the light off, and turned his back to me.

Chapter Seven

48 Hours - Chapter Five

2011-01-16T20:36:00.006+09:00

Saturday noon

Massage done, I pulled the cover on his body, and careful of not waking him up, I went to fix lunch.

My nipples pulsated with each breath and it was hard to focus on anything but them. They felt hundred times bigger and the bra felt hundred time rougher on them. Trying not to winch at each movement I moved around the kitchen, busying myself with the preparation. From the grocery in the bag, the menu was going to be: couscous with grilled vegetables (bell peppers, zucchini, eggplants and eringi mushrooms), washed down with some nice white wine.

Lunch ready, it was time to wake Sir up.

Slowly I walked over to the side of the bed, and kneeling on the floor I whispered: "Sir? ... lunch is ready ..."
With a stir, he opened his eyes and smelling the food:
"Good girl. Let's eat.
How's your nipple feeling?"
"Sore, Sir. And heavy."
"Good. Show them to me"
Bra slowly removed, the lack of support sent a new jolt of pain through my nipples.
"You are lucky I should not touch them. The rings look so inviting I'm tempted to pull them ..." and with a chuckle caused by my fearful expression, he got up and got dressed to sit down for lunch.

Food eaten, table cleaned and dishes washed, I'm ordered against the door. My wrists tied together and the rope that bind them hang on the hook, I was now standing on my toes facing the door, trying to keep from pressing my breasts against the hard wood.

Noticing my action
"Don't worry. As soon as I start, it will make no difference."
And with that the first stroke of the his belt hits across my ass.
"I thought to give you a break from the crop. You should be thanking me ..."

"Thank you Sir!"
"Good. Now start counting." And with that the strokes are back. Some are quick, some are slow, some are heavy and some are light and some other are blinding. I'm dancing on my toes, twisting, screaming, counting.
"Fifty!"

His focus moved from my ass and upper legs to my back and shoulders and it was now impossible to avoid hitting the hard wood with my freshly pierced breasts: shrieking from the strokes only cause me to press against the door, while standing apart only made me slam into it with each stroke.
"One Hundred!"

I was panting and all my back felt on fire.
The new welts on top of the bruises from the previous night were just taking all my energy away. My legs like jello were shacking and with the face pressed against the door, I was just letting the hang hands carry my weight.

"Now this is the proper way to end a meal."

Unhooking my hands and gently holding me up, he helped me to the bed.

"I need to take care of some business this afternoon. Take a nap, clean yourself up and be ready to go to dinner by 6." walking toward the door.
"I'm pleased with you so far. Rest well. We are not done." And with that, the door closed behind him.

Chapter Six

Interview with Hajime Kinoko　一鬼の子: Tobaku International Rope Event

2011-01-13T14:44:00.001+09:00

My first experience as an interviewer!

On Jan. 29th/30th 2011, in Tokyo, there will be Tobaku, the first International Bondage Event organized in Japan. Tobaku is an event organized by Ichinawa-Kai, Hajime Kinoko's kinbaku group.

KabukiJoe had previously interviewed Kinoko-san for his blog, and what better occasion to do a new video one than his first international event? Last time I only did the translated transcript, but this time, I was the interviewer!

Enjoy!

Head over to SMDetective for the full length (24min) version!

Musing #011: On Power and Control

2011-01-09T20:02:00.000+09:00

Power can be given.

Control can only be taken.

Musing #010: 2011 Year of the Rabbit

2011-01-05T23:30:00.000+09:00

Another brand new year ahead!

Below are the things I was striving for at the beginning of 2010:
- To find a better balance between the different aspects of my life:
     ... next!
- To write at least 2 erotica writing per month:
     Not really but close enough. Will try again this year!
- To get over my fear of needles and get my nipples pierced (and hopefully they will heal smoothly and quickly):
    No permanent nipple piercings but I did get to experience some needle play. However the fear is not gone and I don't think it will ever be.
- To be and make Hubby even happier:
    Not my place to answer.
- To make my Master proud:
    Not my place to answer
- To stick to my exercise regime of going twice a month to the pool:
   FAILED! Ok, will try again this year!

As for the new year ahead?
I'll try to fulfill the list above. Seems enough, isn't it?

May 2011 bring all you need and fulfill all you want!

rida

Musing #009: A toy

2010-12-23T22:57:00.000+09:00

A toy is something you play with to entertain yourself.
A toy can be cheap, can be expensive, can be simple, can be complicated.
A toy can be something you longed for and wanted desperately and that once had, it proved to be not as fun as you expected.
A toy you might play with today, might not thrill you tomorrow and will be eventually outdated.
A toy can be broken. And sometime you can fix it, sometime you want to fix it, and some other times you just toss it aside, to be replaced with a newer and shiner version.

Such is the fate of a toy.

雪村春樹　Yukimura Haruki Sensei and reflections of a rope bottom

2010-12-19T10:14:00.006+09:00

The other night I had the chance to meet famous nawashi Yukimura Haruki Sensei . It was a private party setting and I was of course excited about the chance to perhaps be tied up by the famous newasa's expert.

It was a cold night, and after agonizing over what to wear (as only women can agonize over such thing), I chose to wear a short soft black dress and bring a nagajuban just in case. Santa had different plans though and an early Christmas present took care of the problem by putting me in a nice tight black corset.

By the time I got my chance, Yukimura Sensei was already pretty tired as he had been tying up girls all afternoon. But he was still gracious enough as to tie me up.

When I saw earlier on Osada Steve Sensei tie up his girl, I realized that I had been tied by him, but had never seen him tie anybody before, so I only had an inside view of it. Seeing him tie her gave me more insight on the experience I had when he tied me.

With Yukimura Sensei, it was going to be the other way around as I had had the chance to see him tie up his girls and one of the maids earlier on, so a sort of connection was already established via my viewing and witnessing his energy at work, his movements and his style. And by the time I was under his hands and ropes, I had already tuned my own energy's wavelength onto his.

I positioned myself on the futon, wearing my corset. The details of the rope, how he applied it to me, the tie he did are all vague in my mind. But what I remember of the beginning is the presence of NdT's energy through the corset (he had tied me into it) that for a while kept me from entering fully into Yukimura Sensei's mental rope space.

Quickly though Yukimura Sensei's energy prevailed, and when he pulled me back up straight, after having laid me down on the side, I felt totally dizzy and overwhelmed, as if lost spinning in the air, with no sense of up and down.

He also felt the change and got closer and started talking to me.

He has a very penetrating voice, a voice that touches inside, invading sensitive spots. I saw him earlier using it to enhance the sense of shame created by the tie and the position he had put his girl in. And knowing that my sense of (sexual) shame is kind of missing, I had wondered what his voice would accomplish. In spite of a very conservative position and the fact that I was still wearing my panties, even though he did not trigger any sense of shame, he did trigger a heightened sense of self consciousness about how I was looking and coming off to the watching public.

It was a short experience that left me wanting more (of course), but I graciously bowed and thanked him for his time.

One of the biggest difference I have experienced with both Yukimura Sensei and Osada Sensei (and even with the Jail's Mama-san) and other riggers, is that they do not disengage until the end, until all the ropes are off. They put the same care and attention and focused energy on the rope coming off as they did while they were putting them on. The whole experience does not end for them once the rope is on and positioned, the tie is not the end goal, but it is a dynamic exchange that does not end until the rope is untied.

As the one tied up, I can tell you that it makes a huge difference on how it feels. When the rope is applied, there is an opening up of the defenses, an exposure of nakedness that the pouring energy from the Nawashi creates and sooth (until their intentional 責め leaves you defenselessly exposed as with Yukimura-sensei's voice). So when the connection is abruptly severed during the untying, it leaves you exposed without transition, with an incredible sense of loneliness that increases with each rope coming off your body and ending with a sense of abandonment when the last rope is taken off.

The Nawashi keeping the energy focused to the end, help the transition back to reality, and gives a sense of closure to the whole experience. And personally, being given the chance to touch and care for the ropes that were applied would just be the cherry on top.

What happens when rida shows up @Jail

2010-12-14T22:33:00.001+09:00

Friday night started in Shibuya meeting with a visiting friend that shares some of the same kinky proclivities that I do. Catching up over beers and cheap food, we decided to move on to the next stop of the night and I thought that a visit at Jail would be the perfect way to match kink & culture.

The staff was as always friendly and welcoming, and as a good host I tried to offer up my friend to be tied up by Mio-san, one of the Dominatrix. Alas the Mama-san had something else in mind (since I was "unaccompanied" that night) and within a short time I found myself stripped down to my underwear, thigh-high stockings and shoes, and crawling blindfolded on all four toward the center stage. The music on, I was going to be the show.

Pulled up on my feet, the blindfold first came off, and then it was my bra and camisole that got pulled down, exposing my naked breast for all the patrons to see. Mama-san started wrapping me up in rope with fast and precise movements and soon I found myself tied and attached to the suspension point face up with only one hand tied behind my back. One of my legs also got tied and secured and pulled up, and then the second one followed, secured resting across the first leg.

During the whole tying, Mama-san's energy felt soothing and I would easily slip off in a blissful state, head falling down. But that was not what she wanted, and she had to, from time to time, pull my head back by my hair to keep me in the present. The tie felt very comfortable, and I was so relaxed that even when they made me spin around, I did not get dizzy and was able not to panic.

And then, the real fun started: first I was made to hold a lit candle with my free right hand ("statue of un-liberty" like) and another one was placed in my mouth, while Mio-san first and Mama-san later dripped hot wax from other candles all over my body.

The hot drops stung and I wiggled. They felt good and my skin became hypersensitive. And I loved it!

To top it off, Mama-san took the candle from my mouth and with my tongue instinctively reaching out, hot droplet of wax got poured on my tongue and in my mouth.

Still holding one of the lit candles and covered in wax, a flogger sprung into action, hitting my legs, my tights and my breast. The unexpected thud and stung of the flogger's suede tails on my hypersensitive skin made me pull against my restrains, but not wanting to drop the candle and with no way to escape the hits I just ended up spinning around like a pinata.

The last hit on my candle holding hand, took me by surprise, and having lost the candle, I felt as if my hand had lost its purpose so I just wrapped my free arm around myself..

Freed from the ropes I was made to kneel and thank the public, when a little vibe got showed in my panties creating a sudden rush of embarrassment. I tried to keep my cool and do the proper dogeza, but could not help wiggling my butt in the air, for the enjoyment of Mama-san and Mio-san.

Music over, the patrons clapping, both Mio-san and Mama-san hugged and kissed me, before sending me back to my visiting friend for the rest of the night.

Yes, indeed, I'm simply a toy. ^_^

Night @ Jail with Osada Steve

2010-11-21T20:20:00.004+09:00

Last night, I found myself once again back to Jail. And once again I ended up tied up and dangling from the ceiling. But this time, I had the chance to be the rope bottom for the famous Osada Steve, thanks to NdT.

We arrived and were greeted by the staff. Unfortunately the mama-san and the cute girl that cuddled up with me the other time were not there tonight. So we got under the care of the "chi"-mama and a brand new girl that we discovered later on is an incredibly good pole-dancer (both athletic and sexy).

We settled into our usual corner, and after having ordered the drinks (we confused the poor new girl by ordering each of us something different), NdT went to set up the ropes and the suspension ring.

I had been feeling both excited and nervous since meeting Steve-sensei earlier. The never silent chatty rida, for some reason, found herself tongue-tied, but with the help of NdT still managed to ask how he wanted me to be dressed/undressed for the tying. Instruction were: shoes off, bra off, but dress back on. So off the shoes came, off the dress came, off the bra came, and back on the dress went.

Everything set up, the Jail staff lowered the lights, turned on the red spot one and the beat of the music filled the room.

A couple of deep breath on my part and I was ready for this new experience. The first rope went around my arms folded behind my back, and when Steve-sensei engulfed me in his arms to wrap the rope around my chest, I felt a sudden flash of blue energy coming from my right side, enveloping me and cutting the sounds off.

After that, the rope was masterly wrapped and tied into a tight embracing chest harness and from there I got pulled up in a yokotsuri 横吊り. My left leg tied above the knee and my right leg tied above the ankle also got pulled up and I found myself dangling sideways. A hip harness/rope got added as well and from then on it was a whirlwind of rope and pulling: first my torso pulled up higher, then my hips, then my legs, first one, then the other. An intense succession of rope and position changes and twirling and hair pulling to adjust my body, culminating in rope wrapped around my neck (loosely) and my head sharply pulled back by my hair.

I was left there, dangling, tightly tied, lost in rope space, unable to do anything but whimper for what seemed a very long short instant.

The unwinding of the rope, was also intense, perhaps even more so, a continuation of the whole energy flow that had been keeping me floating away during the tying: slow but steady and forceful, with pauses here and there to let me unwind and get out of the rope space at the same pace as the rope was coming off of my body, and with some rough hair pulling here and there to keep me from slipping away.

I had been pulled up pretty high and after my legs were freed I could not be left dangling as I would have not reached the floor, so Steve-sensei got me to wrap my legs around his neck and I focused all my strength in holding on, while he slowly lowered me by loosening the suspending rope from my chest harness. Little by little I was lowered until my head reached the ground and my legs could let go of him. Still I was not free and I found myself pulled up in a sitting position to untie the suspending rope.

Not attached to the suspension ring anymore, Steve-sensei laid me down and with a calming hand pressing on my lower abdomen, he finished freeing me from the last rope: the chest and arm harness.

Rope taken off, breathing stabilized, he pulled me up in an embrace that brought me totally out of rope space, and while the lights came back on, he bowed me to the public.

Thursday night @ Jail

2010-11-04T00:02:00.006+09:00

Thursday night I went with NdT for the first time to Jail a very nice and cozy S&M club in Roppongi.

Nothing was planned but as it is hard to resist the call of the rope, and even harder to pass on the chance of being tied up by such a fine gentleman, it did not take long before I found myself stripped down to my camisole, being prepped for a live shibari show.

The first set was a very intense yokozuri 横吊り that ended after a couple of spins around. It started with a ushiro takakote, then a breast harness connected to the suspension ring from my back. A hip rope got wrapped tightly around my hips and one leg bended and pulled back so that I'm hanging on my side, and the second leg also got pulled up, before being given a spin.

That proved to be a bit too much for a start and NdT quickly untied me. I was still left pretty much in a dreamy state, before being brought back by the cold reality of the floor.

Given the presence of clients, we could not really take pictures, but the staff was kind enough to agree to take some with my iphone for the second tie (hence the low quality of the immages). The second set was a tasuki 襷 with an aomuke 仰向け position,　finished off with an incredibly intense head wrap. Being the second tie, I could feel the energy between NdT and I flowing more fluidly. My own apprehension and nerves were also gone and I ended up at first being distracted by the background voice of an eager and curious client discussing shibari with one of the mistresses.

It started with a ushiro takakote and chest harness and then my chest harness got attached from the front to the suspension ring. Suddenly, while pulling the rope through the ring, the energy flow from NdT got more intense and with that I lost my already precarious balance, and my mind started floating away.

A hip rope got secured through my pussy lips and to my left ankle and then from my side attached to the ring as well. I found myself standing tip-toe on my right leg. I was already floating away when suddenly rope got wrapped across my mouth and all across my head. The sensation felt both reassuring and daunting and with that I just abandoned myself completely to the embrace of the rope.

After what seemed a few seconds and a long time, NdT untied the ropes and I was barely able to keep the balance by myself. His strong arms made sure I did not fall down until at the end I was left collapsed in a hip on the floor, ropes thrown over me.

As a security blanket of sort, I held onto the ropes while the sounds came back and I awoke from the dream.

Tokyo Munch

2010-10-24T15:12:00.003+09:00

Last night I finally went to my first Tokyo Munch organized by F: 10 pervy kinksters showed up for the informal drinks & food, before moving on to some karaoke and lastly for the brave few, to the Tokyo Decadance special Halloween 5th anniversary Party.

It was a blast! I sang until I lost my voice (to the happiness of everybody around me) and enjoyed talking, flirting & kissing, dancing and just let the exhibitionist side of myself out to play..

As for the party, it was my first time going to a Fetish party. This being Tokyo, most people was dressed as Goth Lolitas, with perhaps a little bit more darkness due to the Halloween theme.
In our group, the "veterans" of the scene had brought costumes to change into (or undress down to): rubber vest complete of gas mask, blue-man costume including blue rubber head/face, sexy fishnet suit. Me? I was not totally unprepared and stripped down to my school-girl skirt and garter corset.

There were plenty of foreigners mingling with the Japanese, hypnotic beat music and different shows going on on stage. At some point there was a Burlesque style strip-tease, but the heavy crowd made it hard for me to see (I'm a shorty!).

It was an interesting party, not sure how things evolved later in the night (early morning), as I left sometime in the middle of it. A club style event in Fetish Cosplay style gears. With a bit of a adult edge to it all. But not a BDSM event. For that, I'll have to go to the Tokyo Kinky Society up-coming Japan Fetish Ball, I guess.

I've been trying to go to the Fetish Ball for the last 4 years. Perhaps this will be the one! (Need to think about a dress-code appropriate outfit!).

Now to wrap up this blog, here are things I learned anew, confirmed once again, cannot deny any more about myself, in no particular order:

- When in safe company, I'm a total exhibitionist and a total slut. -> I love all the attention!

- Dominant energy turns me into a submissive puddle of goo in a heartbeat. -> good thing I was in safe company.

- Submissive male energy tickles and awakens my Domme side. -> nothing better than a man kneeling under my feet

- I can feel both submissive and dominant at the same time -> considering how hot the teaser was, the whole deal would be a trip!

- I'm not strictly straight. I'm not exactly bi. -> But I'm definitely liking girls more and more.

- I need to submit, I need to feel Dominated. -> I just do not realize the intensity of the need/craving until it is happening.

Now looking forward the next munch and perhaps even attending a private play party.
(If I'm granted permission, of course).

Trailer of My first S&M bondage video!

2010-09-07T22:19:00.005+09:00

So a couple of months ago I took part of my S&M bondage video with KabukiJoe of SM Detective.

After the necessary editing and rendering, here is the trailer for it!

Hope you'll enjoy it!

48 Hours - Chapter Four

2010-09-05T21:04:00.002+09:00

Saturday 9AM
Having finished our breakfast, I cleaned up the kitchen while Sir took care of his business and other matters. I knew what would come next, and unintentionally I found myself wiping the same spot on the counter over and over, lost in thoughts and frozen in apprehension.

"Come." A hint of softness in the voice, and yet an order.
Gingerly I walked over to the living room area. The instruments were laid down on the little table and a pillow was on the ground.
"Get ready. It is time".

I knew what was coming. I'd been wrapping my head around it since the week-end had been planned. And yet I realized I was not ready. Needles always scared me. Actually, worse, terrified me. Having experienced some play piercing did not reduce the fear at all. On the contrary, shopping for the needles for the piercing intensified the fear, noticing how much thicker the permanent piercing needles were and remembering the pain from the play piercing.

To gain a little more time, after obtaining permission, I walked back to the bathroom, the pain of my soles overwhelmed by the sight of the needles waiting for me.

There was no delaying the inevitable and the last thing I wanted was to piss him off by dragging my feet.

Walking back to the living room, eyes cast down, I stopped near the pillow on the floor and waited.

"Are you ready?"
All I could manage was a nod, as my vocal cords didn't seem to be working.
"Answer me!"
"Yes, Sir ..." shaking.
"Lay down."
I did as ordered and lied down, head on the pillow, legs bended, arms above my head.

My eyes closed, my other senses keenly followed him around in his preparations. Gloves, forceps, disinfectant, the sounds of things moved around and placed on the tray. All sounds were amplified by my fear and involuntarily my body shivered while my breathing had gotten shallow.
The smell of disinfectant reached my nostrils, and a whimper escaped my lips.

His gloved hands were firm and the wipe felt cold on my tense nipples. With the dull bite of the forceps I held my breath trying to be as still as possible.

My heart beats were echoing in my ears and my whole body felt reduced to my nipples. Time seemed to have stopped until a sharp pain ran through like a lighting and I cried out, cold sweat braking out. Trying not to move I didn't dare open my eyes and from the tugging on my nipple I gathered that we were not done yet. More sharp pain and on top of the dull aching and I'm sobbing trying not shake.

"Nice ..." a satisfied low whisper, as if speaking to himself
It was the first word spoken in a while and I was not sure if I imagined it or it was really spoken.

My right nipple was feeling heavy and aching with each heaving of my chest but I could not stop sobbing. I knew we were not done yet, and I knew I was expected to be ready and shaking my head I brought myself to calm down enough to stay still. .

His firm hand once again, and the cold wipe followed by the pinch of the forceps. Again I was breathing shallowly, trying not to move, almost holding my breath. The pain felt somehow more intense this time, probably as a combination of knowing what was to come and of the sympathetic pain waves from the already pierced nipple. And perhaps it was just my impression but it felt as if he went much more slower through my nipple with the needle and with the jewelery.

"Done! Very pretty." satisfaction in his voice.
"I feel like doing the other two piercing as well. What do you think?"
I was not sure if he was being serious or if he was messing with me and all I could do was let a whimper out of my lips and tighten my eyes even shutter.
A chuckle let me know that perhaps he did not mean it. But still I do not dare move nor talk.

"Open your eyes and look" and obeying slowly I peaked down to my now pieced nipples.

"Take a few minutes for yourself and then clean up. I think a massage is in order."

The pain was dull, the nipples felt "heavy". My mind and thoughts still in shamble, I tentatively rose a hand but did not dare touch them. Gingerly I got up and the sudden gravitational pull intensified the sensation and I let a little moan out of my lips. I could see him laying on the bed waiting, and knowing he did not like to wait I started carefully putting the piercing tools away.

"Sir?"
"Yes."
"May I wear my bra?"
After a little pause: "You may."
"Thank you Sir".

My bra on and the breasts movement reduced, I approached the bed to give Sir his massage.
I loved giving him a massage! It helped me focus and calm down. And I treasured the chance to let my hands feel and caress his muscular body.

Carefully I warmed the oil between my hands and I started working on his shoulders, sensing the tensions' spots and working on them. Slowly I moved down his shoulders and arms, admiring their strength. Single mindedly focused I worked on his back down to his buttocks. I could feel his breathing getting deeper and the tension slowly but surely leaving his body and a smile started to form on my lips. Carefully of not losing contact, I moved to get a better access to his legs and started working on them, going down to his calves and his feet.

Massage done, I just stood there, admiring his incredible body.

Chapter Five

Kin's Bar: a quick visit to Mr. Kinichi Tanaka's bar.

2010-08-12T14:06:00.012+09:00

I've been back in sweltering Tokyo for a couple weeks now and I heard from KabukiJoe of that he was going to a monthly event Bar owned and run by Mr. Kinichi Tanaka, a famous bondage/pink movie photographer. The name of the place is Kin's Bar and they were going to have a little live show and I asked if I could tag along for a little bit.

It started with a comedian doing a short fun routine. You could tell that he was a bit nervous, also being the first time for him to perform in such a place and with such a different audience than during his street shows.

After that, Tanaka Sensei tied up a woman that had answered their blog's request for "women curious to try Kinbaku". They started out with her fully dressed in light overalls worn over a T-shirt and Tanaka Sensei first bind her arms in a gote, and then made a breast harness. With her arms bound, he started to unbutton her overall (this slowly undressing and exposing process is a way to cause "shame", a big element of Kinbaku and S&M in Japan) and positioned the rope around her breasts. He then made a kikou tie (full torso harness) and undressed her some more by lowering and pants and pass the rope over her panties. Next step, he tied her to the metal grate behind her and tied one leg up to the grate as well, and took her panties off.

I confess I was mesmerized by the rope and could somehow feel my body react to its placement on her body. She, on the other hand, was very quiet and even from her face, partially covered by a eye-mask, nothing much transpired. I bet she was nervous, but it was really hard to tell.

There was no word exchanged between them the whole time, but from the way she walked in at the beginning I think that one of the reason she was so quiet, could have been because her mind had already slipped into M-space (M for masochist, as used in Japan).

Things changed a bit when he started using the Hitachi on her, although she barely opened her mouth and moaned ever so slightly.

The show ended without much climax, and she got untied and escorted away to recover.

Since they had a little time left available before the pros' shows, they asked if any of the ladies in attendance wanted to be tied up by Tanaka Sensei. Of course I wanted to! And I was not the only one.

So first another lady got tied up in a simple and elegant kikou, and then it was my turn.

(click on the pics to see them bigger.)

I really love the feeling of rope and as soon as it touched my skin, I felt a sense of calm wash over me, I forgot about the public and got a silly smile on my face that did not abandon me for the whole experience.

Tanaka Sensei did again a simple kikou tie and his energy was very smooth and not threatening, almost as if he was tip-toeing around me and the rope as to not interfere with it and my own mental space.

He was however very attentive to my energy and surely noticed my reactions and commented that he was sure that this short tie felt like an unsatisfing tease and that I probably wanted more.

(I had noticed earlier on that even if he was seemingly light and jovial, he was indeed aware of the reactions of his bottoms to the rope for the whole time, and also always very careful in the their placement).

It was a very quick and simple tie that lasted no more than 5 minutes, I think, but I really enjoyed it and once again realized how much I love the feel of rope on my skin, binding my body.

Unfortunately I could not stay for the rest of the shows (you can find descriptions and pics over at SMDetective ), so I went to personally thank Tanaka Sensei and bid good bye to KJ before heading back in the world.

First meeting: a last minute office visit

2010-08-05T20:43:00.006+09:00

In a bit of a last moment decision I ended up going down town around 5PM. I was not sure he was still going to be around but I tried my luck and sent him a message.

Fate wanted that he was still in his office, just a block from where I was standing. I was still thinking whether to go ahead with the shopping plan or go see him when the phone rang and he called to invite me over. At this point I could not turn him down, and I agreed to walk over to his office.

He was waiting for me outside the entrance and guided me up to the last floor (4th), to his office. As he is in the middle of remodelling it, it was a bit upside down, but it had a couple of nice hidden feature: a stepping platform created from an old confessional boot, standing just under a hook in the ceiling, with the space against the wall for a "holding like" structure. *chuckle*: a secret dungeon corner in his office, LOL

I did not know exactly what would happen, but I knew sex was going to be a very real possibility.

We started the "dancing around" game: "sit down here", "how good to see you", "you have a wonderful tan", "why don't you show me how you look standing on the platform", "how lovely to have you here", "show me a bit your tan" ... and of course, I was not going to deny him a real view of what he had been seeing on pictures for the last few months so I took my top off. From there he undid my bra, and then my pants and then my panties ended on the floor.

Kissing and groping and his pants unbuckled and them too felt on the floor. Standing against the wall, he fingered me, with his dick hardening with each moan that left my lips and when I was wanton enough, he gently guided me down, holding my hair, to suck his cock and I ended up on my knees.

We moved to his desk with me sitting on it and him positioned between my legs to eat me out. His tongue felt really good, eating me out and licking me forcefully bringing me close to the edge.

There was not much time left, and I wanted him to cum so we moved again, him sitting on a low sofa and me down on my knees and I he guided me back to blow him. I focused on my task, licking him up and down, and gently suckling on the head before slowly taking it all on. Bobbing up and down, I kept the sucking and massaging the base I could feel his tension growing until with a soft moan, he exploded in my mouth.

Musing #008: Vacation!

2010-07-06T03:17:00.002+09:00

I'm on vacation.
Time to recharge my batteries.
Time to clear my mind and tan my body.
And time to try to finish up my story; two more chapters to write.

But I'm on vacation ... ^_^

Sneaky preview: Still captures from the video

2010-06-20T20:03:00.009+09:00

The video is still in editing stage, but I've gotten a few screen captures to share with you and I've added them to the blog to give a better visual of the events.

So please, go back to check the video blog once again! Now enhanced with images!

rida

Meet Master K

2010-06-18T22:02:00.004+09:00

Sometime stars aligns in unexpected ways, and in the light June rain, I found myself heading off to meet with famous bakushi Master K, author of The Beauty of Kinbaku (http://www.thebeautyofkinbaku.com/)

KabukiJoe played match-maker by mentioned to Zetsu my love for rope bondage and Zetsu, Master K's assistant and student, sent me a message carrying the invitation from Master K to meet him and experience his kinbaku.

The whole meeting lasted just a bit short of 2 hours and ... wow.
It was wonderful! Educational, exciting, heart warming, sensual, relaxing and overall incredible. I still have a stupid grin on my face :p

Here is a run down of the ties Master K was kind enough to do on me.

First we started with a NEWASA: kneeling on the floor with my back to him, he tied my hands in a USHIRO KOTE and to avoid compressing my nerves, he tied the rope a couple cm above my wrists and made sure that my hands were very low on my back. From there he made a simple breast harness, and from a simple crotch rope, he tied one calf to my thigh, and the other leg in a half GYAKU-EBI attached to my back. After letting me adjust to the ropes and position, he topped it off with a rope around my head going through my mouth as a gag and attaching it to my back rope so that my head was pulled back. And with that he brought me up on my knees.

One of the first things that happened is that with my hands tied, I slowly got quieter. Until all I could do was nod "yes" or "no".

Zetsu was charged with untying me, but directed to leave the USHIRO KOTE as is. From there, Master K first made a different breast harness, and than tied my ankles and attached them to my breast harness, creating an AGURA-EBI tie. Again, he finished up by wrapping some rope around my head as a gag and pulling it back.

Once more Zetsu untied me and after a playful tug-o-war between them (the rope was still attached to me, and I guess I was the flag ^_~), Master K asked me if I could handle a little more and told Zetsu that he was going to show him something.

Of course I was happy to be the rope bunny for this extemporaneous lesson to Zetsu. Being that I'm petite, Master K wanted to show how a simple decorative breast harness looks on a body frame like mine. So he proceeded to tie my wrists again, and then wrap the rope around my chest and then finished it up with a very pretty and decorative tie on my back, a way also to tuck away the excessive rope (Zetsu said "Now I know why they make 7m ropes!" to which Master K replied "Yeah, and look how much is left still!") .

From there, Master K proceeded to do a SEME tie, by tying me to some column (he was kind and put a pillow behind me) and then tied my legs together starting from a crotch rope and ending by tying my toes together so that I had to either keep my toes up or lose my balance and fall slightly forward. And to add just a finishing touch, he wrapped the rope as a gag again and pulled my head back.

All ties were incredibly comfortable, yet very effective (Master K kept on suggesting me to free myself, to which my reply was "But I don't want to!"). However, by adding the head tilted back, they became suddenly very uncomfortable, not only because of the pressure/stress exercised on the neck, but also because each movement to try to relieve such stress only ended up pulling on the other ropes, showing how precise and narrow was the comfort zone.

Master K is really a lovely gentleman and a skilled bakushi. After letting me talk out the nerves, he made sure to check all my problem point first, and to find out what I wanted to experience. As a total beginner I really did not have much to work with in term of ties, but I knew about my body weak points: both wrists and one of the knees.

The speed and precision with which the ropes were placed and tied was amazing, and the energy flow clear and peaceful. I now understand what Hajime Kinako meant in his interview when he said that the rope is like an extension of himself and he can feel what the model feels via the rope. In reverse, as a model, I can feel the energy of the bakushi flowing through the rope. And the rope, does not lie.

If I still had any doubt, this experiences confirmed that indeed I love the feeling of rope bondage, in and of itself. And outside of a D/s dynamic I could enjoy it just for myself.

Video Shoot with KJ of SM Detective

2010-06-13T09:43:00.011+09:00

(Photo & rope ties by KabukiJoe of SM Detective, Blog by me - Cross posted on SM Detective - more pictures there! and the preview here! )

It took us a some research to find a hotel with the old Showa feel to it: old tatami floors and wooden poles and beams, but following the lead from a Japanese blog, KabukiJoe found a promising place in Shinjuku. It took two trips to finalize the deal, but here we are.

Entering the somewhat hidden door, the chimes go off and the chatty "obasan" that runs the place comes out to great us. There are 3 of us: KJ, video guy and me. Being a very old hotel (no elevator), we take our shoes off at the entrance and I can see she remembers us and is actually genuinely happy to see us there. Commenting on our bags I get the sense that somehow she knows that we are there to take pictures and that I will be the only one getting naked. Suspicion somehow confirmed by the fact that she gives us only one yukata and one set of towels while she leads us to the room.

The room is a bit smaller than we thought but the feel is just right. We bring in our bags, pay in advance for 3 hours (plus premium surcharge for the 3rd person, a pretty much standard procedure), and we start preparing the "set" by moving the furniture around, testing the lights and the video camera. While the guys do the technical stuff, I undress to my lingerie, wear a big white T, put the wig on and get working on the ropes, as they are new and need a little treatment.

KJ is evidently both nervous and excited (a bit frantic perhaps?) and video guy plays totally cool (being a Brit and all that). I don't really know what to expect but I know it will be different compared to the still photo shoot we did at Sleeping Beauty: during that, all I needed to do was to go deep inside the sensation of the ropes, while with the video I somehow know that I'll have to be much more on top of what's going and I try to be mentally ready by chatting up a storm while I can, as I'll have to be quiet and in the part once the video starts rolling.

Everything set, we are ready to start. The proposed script calls for 6 different scenes but without worrying whether we will be able to do them all or not, we start with the first one: me dressed with the big white T-shirt, sitting on the floor, back to the pole and tied to it. The wrists get tied behind the pole, the upper torso get tied to it as well, and the legs are tied together at the ankles and knees in front of me. And with two tenugui clothes gagging and blindfolding me, we are ready to start.

"Scene 1: Action!"
I try to imagine how I look from the camera and I try to imagine how it would feel to be tied to a pole, blindfolded, not knowing what is going to happen next. I'm still getting into my role when suddenly "the bad guy" (KJ) gets close, grabs my face, slaps me a couple times and moves on to grab the T-shirt and ripping it open in front of me. Instinctively I try to cover up the sudden exposure by bringing my knees closer to my chest. This attempt is short lived as he moves on to removing my bra and my panties. I'm totally exposed now and I try to twist sideways, as to recover a bit of decor. I'm still adjusting to this and something new starts to happen: hot drops start hitting my breasts, my tummy, my legs, my pussy. I can feel the heat coming closer and I can smell the flame.
The hot wax drops sting like little needles and I cannot help but squirm and cry, both in discomfort and surprise, until the wax's sting turns into a soothing sensation and in a sort of suffering bliss, I just stay still and let the drops cover me.
"Cut!"

Chatting resumes and KJ takes my blindfold and ropes off. I'm feeling a bit giddy due to the sensation brought on by the wax and all I can think of is "I like wax!", having totally forgotten that I'm now butt naked while they are still fully dressed.

This scene turned out being pretty easy all in all and KJ is ready to move on to the next one while the wax is still nicely stuck to my body. Ripped clothes removed, we are ready to go once again.The position here is going to be a bit tricky and it is something we have not tried before. After discussing the best placement for the hands, and how to start it off so that I can hold it as long as possible, he starts by tying first my hands together behind the pole and then tying my torso to the pole as well: one rope above my breast and another one under my breasts. Blindfold and gag on, it is time to pull my ankles back so that I'm off balance and sort of falling off but kept in place by the ropes around my torso.

"Scene 2: Action!"
I wiggle and pull at the restrains, trying to see if I can get a more comfortable position but there really is nothing I can do but stay on my toes. Soon "the bad guy" is back in action: first he fondles my breasts, pinching them, slapping them. And then the evil twine flogger comes out and swoosh: it hits my upper thighs, once, twice! I yelp and scream in surprise as it hurt much more than I expected (it even left some light welts). Next he is poking my breasts with the tips and and then it goes back to hitting my hips and my tummy and again my upper thighs. By now I'm starting to feel a bit tired due to the off center position and I just let myself hang from the pole not fighting the ropes and gravity anymore. Giving up on the struggle to keep my weight on my feet, I can finally enjoy the tight embrace of the ropes and in the distance I can hear the shutter of the still camera taking pictures.
"Cut!"

"Shall I free the bottom or the top first?" through my gag I muffle "Feet!" and both video guy and KJ have a good chuckle. With the silliness breaking the moment, we are back to chatting and bantering and I make a point to express how surprisingly painful the twines are, even though KJ tries to deny it and point out that they are so weak that they keep breaking off. "I have a thought butt!" is my come back that ensures more chuckles. And with that we are off to prepare for the next scene.

The wax is now almost gone from my body (whipped off) so I finish cleaning up the remainder while the guys rearrange the background, moving the video camera and lighting to a different angle as this time we are going to use the upper beam. New stuff comes out of KJ's big bag of tricks: two big wooden blocks and the tying begin. The wrist are tied together and to the upper beam, blind fold and gag in place, my feet are placed on the big blocks and that are moved sideways until I am standing, leg spread, on my toes.

"Scene 3: Action!"
The position is uncomfortable as I have to balance myself, and the leg being spread make me feel exposed. I can also feel that the blocks are slowly slipping further sideways and I try to take some of the weight off by holding on the rope and arranging my toes as not to push them away. I'm still in the middle of getting used to the position when "the bad guy" is back in action: first he starts by hitting my breasts with the twine flogger, and then he moves to hit my butt. I can handle this, the pain is not novel anymore and with all the endorphins running by now, it also does not feel as bad. But in an unexpected move, he slowly taps on my inner thighs and pussy. A simple actions and yet it triggers an incredible fear response as memory of past pain floods my mind and the realization that I could not escape the torture makes me break down and I cry and shake, panic rising quickly. A couple more hits on my thighs and wooden peg are added to my breasts. By now I'm in such a deep fear mode that any light contact makes me flinch. I've lost it and I'm lost.
It is time for the candle to come back in action. I can feel the heat coming closer to my skin and to my pussy. I can even smell the fire and my panic level rises another notch as the heat feels closer and closer and closer. Suddenly there is contact and I scream! Through the jolt I realize that what touched me was the back side of the candle but it does not matter anymore, I'm a sobbing mess by now. And I'm left just a little longer sobbing, defeated, hanging and shaking.
"Cut!"

"That was amazing!" , "You were great!". KJ is totally euphoric and also aware that I'm in need of reassurance and is much more delicate approaching me this time. I know I need to pull myself together, but I'm still lost in my own mind and as such I just wait still, while he put my legs back closer, unties my wrists and finally takes the blindfold and gag off. I'm still sobbing a bit and go sit down on the bed with some water. Slowly I bring myself back to reality, while KJ and the video guy discuss the scene that just ended and talk about me as if I am not there.

A deep breath and I'm back to smiling and I too join in the chatter, explaining how the unexpected hit on my pussy just threw me out of balance.

Somehow this scene has left us all drained and we decide to take a serious break. KJ and video guy start discussing what's left to do, tossing out a couple of scene that cannot be safely done (the beam is not strong enough to carry any weight), while I busy myself with a little clean up.

Talk goes back to the twine flogger and the fact that it hurts and I offer KJ to have him feel it for himself. He kindly obliges and let me swat his butt. Evil grin on my face I swat as hard as I can, and more pieces break off. "Yes, it hurts more than I expected. Good!" and with that we start discussing the next scene.

KJ is thinking to use ikebana-spikes tied to my nipples. I'm not sure I'm up for it so I check them out and they just hurt a bit too much for me to feel comfortable with them. KJ graciously accepts to leave them out for another time and off we go for one more tie.

This time my legs are tied to my thighs so that I will be standing on my knees. After that my hands are tied above my head and behind the pole, and then more rope is wrapped around my torso above and below the breasts. Two candles are stuck in the rope around my breasts and the blind fold and gag is on.

"Scene 4: Action!"
The candles are lit and I can hear the flame crackling and the heat reaching my face, I honestly cannot say how close or distant they are and I'm scared shitless that my wig will catch fire and I'll turn into The Torch. Still shook by the previous scene, the fear makes me whimper and I'm almost holding my breath, trying to stay as still as possible. I don't know what will come next, or what is happening or how distant the candles are. All my senses are focused on the sound of the flame and the heat from it and my breathing, mixed with whimpers get shallower and shallower.
"Cut!"

I'm so relieved that nothing else was done to me! Staying still was all I could handle. The flames and candles off, I'm freed from my blind fold and gag and then the ropes come off. I'm giddy once again and KJ decides that we are done for the day. Somehow the announcement breaks the tension that had built up during the last two scenes and we are all back to chatting, commenting on what could be improved, what went wrong and what we can do next time.

We are all tired but we still have to clean up the room, a mess of props and ropes and scraped off wax. Done with the cleaning and packing, room put back as it was when we came in, we are ready to leave and as soon as we open the door, the chatty "obasan" comes up the stairs to accompany us out.

Finished up the last formalities, we get our shoes back but the "obasan" cannot stop talking with us. I'm just too tired to be able to think straight and I leave her to KJ. Somehow she really seems to like him and he ends up being the last out of the hotel.

The sun has gone down and the air has lost the muggy heat of mid-day. It is time to head back to our day-lives and with a last round of good byes and thank yous we are off, curious to see what we have accomplished.

48 Hours - Chapter Three

2010-05-29T22:20:00.005+09:00

Saturday 1AM.
When my eyes opened, it was pitch dark all around and I could hear Sir breathing next to me the deep relaxed breath of sleep. Trying to turn my head around I was reminded of the earlier events as pain reached me from different part of my body.

What woke me up was that I had to pee. Slowly I moved and slid my feet to the ground. But as soon as my toes hit the soft carpet a sharp pain shot from them. So sliding down some more I got down on my knees and without even trying to stand up, I crawled to the bathroom.

Managing to sit on the toilet was a bit of a task as my feet really hurt and once sitting my butt and thighs hurt too. The bathtub was full and the water was warm. The clock on the console said 1AM and I wondered if it would be ok to take a bath without asking permission. My body sore I just succumbed to the temptation of a soothing hot bath and sank in, after removing my collar.

The nice and warm water felt wonderful and I explored my bruises: there were red and purple marks on my breasts and hips. I'm sure my butt and thighs were the same and my pussy was swollen. And my feet soles too had a purple shade to them.

It was time to go back. The hot water had somehow softened my muscle and I could barely put enough strength in them to lift myself up. While still trying to figure out a way to get out, the door opened and Sir walked in.

Like a reindeer caught in headlights I froze and stared at him trying to read his expression. A quick slap to my face answered my question and I started apologizing.

"You don't need permission to go pee. But you do for a bath. Are we clear?" stern.
"Yes, Sir. I'm sorry Sir. I did not want to wake you up to ask, Sir."
"That was smart of you." punctuated by another slap.
"If I'm in no position to answer, you wait. " and two more slaps for good measure.
"Yes, Sir. It will not happen again, Sir."

"Well, since I'm here, move. I'm getting in."
Scooping aside he moved in.
"Mmmm. This feels good. Now how are you?"
"Sore, Sir."
"Good."

Still startled and a bit out of it (the face slaps did not help me recover my wit), I just stood still, looking down, trying to get even smaller, if possible.

"How are the feet?"
"Painful, Sir."
"Can you walk?"
"I did not try Sir. It hurt too much just putting them on the ground."
"You'll have to crawl then" A satisfied smirk crossing his face.
"Now, get on your knees and turn around"

Puzzled I did as I was told and I was now kneeling, butt at water level, holding on the side of the tub. I heard him move behind me and the familiar sound of a condom wrapper being ripped open. And I knew what was coming.

A couple of swat on my butt, hands grabbing my hips and he started plunging his hard cock into my tight ass. As always it hurt but somehow it was a welcomed kind of pain, familiar and soothing. The mental connection between having your ass fucked raw and a sense of comforting familiarity took me by surprise and I wondered if that was how Stockholm Syndrome started.

Satisfied he got out of the bath and after drying himself, offered me a helping hand. Gingerly I got on my feet but it really hurt just by standing on them. Dried off, I was handed the collar. Led by the leash I crawled after him back to the bed.

I was really thirsty though, and I asked for some water. Thirst quenched, sleep
arrived quickly and was full of strange dreams that dissolved as soon as I opened my eyes.

Saturday 6AM.
It was just getting bright outside. I could feel his rhythmical breathing and I knew he was still asleep. I needed to pee once again but I could see he was still holding on to the leash. The sight made me smile and resigned I held it in, not sure whether to hope he would wake quickly or not.

My movement probably woke him as he started stirring. His eyes opened and I lowered mine, trying not to be caught staring at him.
"Good morning."
"Good morning, Sir."
"Tonight you'll sleep on the floor."
"Yes, Sir."
"You may go pee"
"Thank you Sir!" I was so happy that I didn't even wonder how he knew it.
Getting on my feet hurt and each step was an agony.
"Crawl. You look cute on your knees"
And with that I was back on my knees, crawling to the bathroom.

Before going back, I cleaned up the bathroom, emptying the tub, I washed my face and brushed my teeth. Crawling back to bed where he was still laying down, covers kicked back, I could see he was hard and with a quick motion I was directed to service his cock.

Like a little happy puppy I jumped on the bed, positioning myself between his legs and got to work, kissing first and then licking and sucking his hard cock.

It took me a bit to get into the right mind frame, forgetting about the goal and focusing on the present sensation and his response. I could feel him tensing up and with a hand on my head he pushed himself deeper. Unfortunately the pressure made me gag, but I tried to hold the position. A couple of strokes and my head was let go and I sensed that the rhythm and the moment had been lost and I just could not catch it any longer.

"Let's have breakfast"
And with that he hopped out of the bed and headed for the bathroom.

I was not sure how I felt but I knew that sitting there was not going to be the right thing, so quickly I crawled to the kitchen corner to fix some coffee and see what else was there to eat.

There was coffee and tea but nothing else. I checked if there was any bag with food but I could not find anything and, better than nothing, I prepared some coffee. I was just pouring it into two mugs when he sat down at the table.

"Grocery is in the car. Drink some coffee and then go get them."
"Thank you, Sir" and with that I sat down on my sore and bruised ass to sip on the coffee. It was hot, it was bitter and it brought me back to reality.

"Get the food, I'm starving. Do not remove the collar and do not get dressed. I know its cold but it will not take you long. Can you walk?"
"I'll try, Sir."
"Good. Go. The car is open."

Cautiously, I stood up and walked slow painful steps toward the door. Outside the cold was intense and it made me walk faster. Nobody could see me as the trees were covering the view from the other cottages. With the grocery bag in hand, I rushed back inside. Somehow the cold had distracted me from my sore feet.

"Here is another cup of coffee. It'll warm you up."
"Thank you, Sir!"
"Now the food"
"Yes Sir!" and with that I turned around busying myself with the preparation.

Cooking the eggs, toasting the bread, squeezing the oranges, all mundane things, somehow acquired a deeper meaning of service while wearing my collar, naked, bruised and sore.

Chapter 4

48 Hours - Chapter Two

2010-04-28T22:55:00.004+09:00

Chapter One

Friday 6PM
Check in taken care of at the concierge, we drove to our cottage to leave our bags.

"How's that butt plug?" He had noticed my gingerly walk while bringing in the bags.
"Uncomfortable, Sir."
"Good. You are wearing it to dinner."
"Yes, Sir."
"Take the leash off but keep the collar on. Ok, let's go eat. How do you feel about steak? I've heard there is a good Wagyu steak house just a short drive from here."

Out of the cottage, the sky had turned black, dotted with many stars that down in the metropolis you never get to see. I could not help but look up and breath in the view for a moment, before entering the car.

"The bumps on the way? You can thank me for each one." a way of making sure I'm not allowed to forget the intruding object that has now been stuck in me for the last 6 hours.

I did non tell him but somehow the bumpy road, the chafed and rubbed raw anus were all worth the joy of sitting next to him on our way for dinner. And as if reading my mind:
"Don't worry, you'll get to suffer. A lot and for long, as soon as we get back. And you are welcome."
"Thank you, Sir." an automated response that never fails to remind me of my place.

After a delicious meal of buttery Wagyu and fresh vegetables, washed with a glass of nice wine, we headed back to settle in for the night. All dinner long Sir had been teasing me by hinting at things to come, making me blush, pushing me to say things that I would instantaneously regret (how does he break down my defenses so easily and so fast?).

The ride back was somehow quiet. I had known for a long time that he wanted to apply permanent piercing to my nipples and it was only the lack of time that had kept him from pursuing his design. Now, with the better part of 48hours still ahead of us, I knew there was no delaying it any longer.

Friday 9PM
"Go inside, lay everything out and be ready. I'll be back in 10 minutes."
With those instructions, he exited the car and headed down the path to the concierge.
"And one more thing: keep the butt plug in." without stopping or turning around.

It had been now over 9 hours and I knew it needed some cleaning. Inside the cottage, I turned the lights and heat on, and headed for the bathroom. Taking the butt plug out during preparation was going to speed up things.

Toys laid out and everything else ready, it was time to prepare myself. First I undressed. The room had warmed up enough that even naked I was not shivering. Second the butt plug had to go back in, and somehow my asshole was feeling sore by the long wear and created a bit of resistance. Third the leash to the collar. And finally, I was ready, kneeling in front of the entrance.

Taking a couple of deep breath I tried to calm down. Instead the sudden lack of action caused my mind to go back to the new instruments I had laid out next to the familiar toys just few minutes ago: metal tray, disinfectant, latex gloves, sterile gauze, pliers-clamps, rings and piercing needles, 14G.

The fear started to knot my stomach causing my breathing to turn shallow and just when I started to feel on the verge of tears, the door opened.

A blow of cold air shocked my body, making me hold my already shallow breath.

"Good". Closing the door.

"Head on the floor, ass in the air. I want to see the nice tail you have." Walking around, taking his coat off.

"How convenient, a handle!" tugging on the round protruding handle on the Njoy shaped silicon plug. And with a final stronger pull, the plug popped out.

"Nice and clean. Good girl. Now stay like that. I like to look at your ass." I could hear him move around, undressing, checking out the equipment and instruments.

"I think I'm going to leave the piercing for tomorrow.." And with that a hand pulled me up by my hair. Scrambling to my feet, head bended backward, I could feel his body behind mine and a sudden bite on my neck. A whimpering cry turned into a moan while my body shook as if run through by an electric shock, legs turning into jello and bending at the knees.
"You like this, don't you." An affirmation more than a question and yet I was expected to answer: "Answer me!."

The build up of fear and the sudden shock from the bite had already shaved off at least 40 IQ points and struggling to express the complex concept at hand all I could whisper was "I think so ..."

Without a warning I was thrown on the ground. With a swoosh I heard the crop cutting through the air and hit my shoulders once, twice moving down to my ass. A couple of hits there, and then along my hips and outside thighs. I was still shacking and screaming when with a kick my legs were spread open and a couple of hits got aimed at my pussy. Inevitably I tried to escape the pain by closing my legs, but knowing me, he prevented it by keeping my legs open with his own.

A half a dozen hits properly assessed, I was breathing heavily, trying to process the pain.

"Up."

I got up on my feet, leg slightly spread, arms resting on my sides, palms outward, eyes down.

With rope, he tied my wrists together behind my back and attached the rope to a hook he had hanged on the door-frame. He actually made me face the door first so that I had to bend at my waist and stretch my arms up to be able to keep my equilibrium. Clamps got attached to my nipple and some extra weight attached to the chain.
My whimpering and sobbing quickly got stopped by a sharp "Quiet.".

A different swoosh and the heavier thud of the whip hit my ass and lover back.
A suffocated gulping sound from my lips and I was promptly corrected:
"Start counting"
"One"
Swoosh
"Two"
Swoosh
"Three"
Swoosh, Swoosh, Swoosh. He had gotten in a rhythm and it was harder to count without missing any but I tried anyway.
"Fourfivesixseveneeightnine"
A pause and SWOOSH. "Ten!"

"Are you having problems counting? Am I going too fast?" A mocking chuckle followed the questions.
"A bit, Sir" an honest answer.
"I can go slower and hit harder, if you prefer..."
"As you wish, Sir." hoping that I would not be asked to choose.
"I'm feeling generous so I'm going to let you decide how you want the next 10."
"........."
"Well? I don't here any decision nor "thank you ..."
"Thank you Sir. I choose fast, Sir." words rushed out of my lips, one on top of each other, hoping I did not earn myself any punishment with the delay.
"Are you sure? I want to hear all the numbers ..."
"Yes, Sir, I'm sure, Sir. Understood, Sir."
"Ok then."

A much faster sequence of strokes hit the back of my legs, and I could barely keep my equilibrium, let alone count the numbers out loud.
"On-ARGH-t t fo-AHH-si se a-RGH-nine and Twenty!" numbers and screams mumbled together.

"It could have been better." Suddenly something started pushing against my asshole: my butt plug. "I'm sure you missed it, and beside, your ass was looking so lonely."

"Well?"
"Thank you Sir".
"You are welcome"
"Now, just keep counting. I'm just starting to warm up."

And with that a new series of hits, some slow, some fast, some light licks, some heavy thuds and some other biting like a scorpion's tail.

"Fifty!" panting heavily, shacking and banging my head against the door.

"How are your hands?"
I had totally forgot about my hands but now that I've been asked, they felt cold.
"Cold Sir."

Quickly he loosened the rope from the hook and my hands were resting on my back, head still against the door. Somehow I didn't feel stable enough for standing up.

Without untying my wrists, I'm helped standing and turned around, my back to the door. The nipple clamps yanked off caused a shrill shriek to escape my mouth and I was sobbing once again.

"Don't move and count. From one."
The hits started raining on my breasts while I turned my head away, as if to hide from the strokes of the whip. A couple hits on one breast, a couple on the other, and then a couple on my right hip and then on the left one. Following this pattern I screamed and counted. To throw my body for a loop, sometime an extra stroke or two was added on the same spot and the unexpected hit caused me to recoil and cry out.

"Fifty!"

Time for another break. My legs shacking, I laid against the door for balance, not sure I could stand up without help.

Pulled by my hair I'm brought to the bed and thrown laying on it, face down. Butt plug pulled off, "Turn around"
Laying on my back, I can feel the soreness and some burning against the cold sheets.
"Hold your legs up and open with your hands".
"Oh no!" A whimpering plead involuntarily leaved my lips following the realization of what was to come.
"What did you say?"
"Nothing Sir."
"For a moment I thought you said "no"..."
"No, Sir."
"Good. You know it makes no difference, right?"
"Yes, Sir."
"And beside, you love suffering for me, don't you?"
"Yes, Sir."
"Yes what?"
"Yes, Sir, I love suffering for you, Sir"
Chuckling "Goodness I love how obedient you are ..." talking more to himself than anything.

"Hold those legs open and count."
The strokes started hitting the inside of my thighs first, before moving up to hit my pussy. I just could not keep myself still with my legs open. But I knew I had to and so tried to will my hands to hold strong and my legs to stay still, but alas they just moved on their own accord, as if fighting with myself. Between the pain and the struggle and the counting I was getting overwhelmed and a strong urge to give up started to overrun my thinking process.

"Don't make me start over."
With all my will I tried not to flinch, not to close my legs, not to let go of my knees. My nails were digging into the inside of my thighs and I was clenching my teeth. Mumbling the last ten numbers I managed to just flinch and close one leg.

"Fifty!"

The stress and concentration needed to accomplish the task evaporated with the last hit while the pain took over. My body, aching and sore, started shacking uncontrollably, while my head was trashing left and right and incoherent sounds were leaving my lips.

Taking my hands away from my thigh, he turned me around. I could feel the rope being wrapped around my ankles and then my knees but had no strength to even twitch or wonder what was going to happen. What was going to happen was, I knew, that he would do what pleased him and I'd suffer through it for him. The "what", at the end, was irrelevant.

"I have fifty more strokes left. Are you ready?"
"Yes, Sir ..." but my voice was weak and faint.
"Do you know what's coming?" an honestly asked question.
"No Sir."
"Do you want to know?" again, an honest question and I was not sure what to say.
"I'm not sure, Sir."
"Wrong answer. But I might let it slide if you do well. Don't move ... too much." and with the last words spoken with a bit of a smirk, he started hitting the sole of my feet.

I could not help but bend my knees to rise my legs but my ankle did not move. The rope around them was actually tied somewhere else as not to let me move my feet at all. Panic rising I wiggled my toes while the stroke kept on falling, and between screams I suddenly remembered I was supposed to count.

"One!" Not knowing what number we had actually reached.
A little pause in the strokes, a chuckle and then the hit started again: some stronger some lighter, on the left on the right or across both, closer to the toes, closer to the heels.

The pain was unbearable and the counting a struggle. I could keep count in my mind but saying all the numbers out loud was impossible and I just kept up with the latest number, hoping not to be made to restart.
Somewhere around 35 he slowed the pace down and just hit me rhythmically and I started slipping away. My feet felt distant, my own voice felt distant. Only the stinging pain would bring me back in a flash before I slipped away again.

And finally:
"Fifty ... " just a whisper.

My sole felt on fire. But truth was my whole body was aching. I was drained and even breathing was labored and painful.

Gently a blanked was laid on me while he undid the ropes around my ankles and knees. Somewhere in the distance a "good girl" reached my ears but I was not sure if it was just my imagination as I drifted away again.

Chapter 3

48 Hours - Chapter One

2010-04-21T20:48:00.006+09:00

Friday: noon
Heartbeat echoing in my ears, I could barely think straight while preparing myself.

I was going to spend 48 hours with Sir and the realization of how much suffering I could be put through was slowly sinking in and causing me to panic.

Checking my bag one more time to make sure I had not forgotten anything, I threw a last glance to the mirror before heading out of the door.

It was a sunny day with still hints of chill. We were going to stay in a little cottage up in the mountains where it was going to be cooler than down here. I was to arrive first, prepare everything and wait. I was not sure what it meant but I had been reassured that detailed instructions would be waiting for me at the cottage.

The train ride was smooth, although my nerve made it feel like it was lasting an eternity. For the first time I had been ordered to wear a butt plug for the travel and sitting on it well over an hour was starting to wear me out to the point I did not know anymore if it felt uncomfortable and I wanted it out or if it was uncomfortable and I wanted it to fuck me.

Unable to stand it any longer I typed a little text: "May I remove the butt plug, Sir?"
The answer did not take long to arrive. A single syllable: "No". Gritting my teeth I tried to distract myself and read but I just could not focus so I stood up and took a little walk along the train cars. Moving instead added a new dimension to the sensation, a mixture of chafing and tickling and I had to do something. Another text "May I play with myself, Sir?".

By the time I had walked all the way to the end of the train, I had not received a reply. Resigned I was walking back to my seat when the familiar ping alerted me to an incoming message: "You may. But you are not allowed to cum.". A stern "No" would have felt better than this. But I was not going to argue, so I ducked into a toilet stall and took a relieving distraction from the feeling of the butt plug by adding a layer of arousal that left me utterly horny and wishing I had never asked for permission in the first place. Too late to recriminate, I recomposed myself, and walked back to my seat.

It was almost my station, so instead of sitting right away (I did not trust myself not to cum by the sheer pressure of sitting down), I collected my bags, picked up the trash and started wearing my coat. I still ended up having about 10 minutes to go, so reluctantly I sat down, sitting on the tip of the chair as to avoid any excessive pressure to my sensitive bits and maximize the discomfort from the butt plug.

A ping and a new text: "Change of plans. Wait for me at the entrance gate of the resort compound. Wear your collar and leash." My heart skipped a beat or two: what did this mean? what was going to happen? and why he wanted me to wear the collar and leash? Stunned and frozen it took me a second to realize we had stopped and I better hurry if I wanted to make it out of the train before the doors closed again. It was no time for panic.

Out in the station, I checked my directions and took the little shuttle bus that would bring me to the cottage compound. The last stop was the concierge cottage, but I asked to be let off at the entrance gate and I was told it would be a kilometer walk to the concierge from there. Nodding in understanding I asked anyway to be let at the gate, while my mind refused to form any conjecture on what Sir's plans might be.

Interestingly, the new worry had completely taken my mind both from my arousal and from the discomfort of the butt plug.

Friday, 4:00 PM
The entrance gate was on a major street but surrounded by nothing but trees, a convenience store and gas station a 100 meters up the street and a soba restaurant and coffee shop 100 meters the other direction. It was still mid afternoon but the sun had already started to go down.

Once the bus had moved on along the private street that brought to the concierge, I took my collar and leash out of the bag and nervously secured it around my neck. The feeling of it weighting around my neck was both soothing and unnerving, so I started to play with the leash, twirling and straitening the chain mails. Within 20 minutes the bus passed me again on its way back to the station.

Realizing that I did not know how long I was supposed to be waiting, I checked my phone but to my horror there was no coverage. For a moment I felt lost and tears started to swell in my eyes. What if something happened and he could not come? How would I know? I could end up waiting here forever! To take hold of my rising panic I started talking with myself: "Calm down, you are not a little girl. It is still early and there is plenty of light. The shuttle bus runs every hour, so that means that in 40 minutes it will be driving back and you can decide to hop on it. Or even hop on it when it runs back to the station. So just relax and wait. And let's decide what to do when it gets dark."

Somehow though being used to live in an urban environment, the emptiness of the surrounding, with the occasional car passing by and the sounds from the forest behind, slowly eroded any remaining of self confidence, and the chill that was starting to set in my bones, the aching legs, the burning butt plug, all conspired to make me feel utterly helpless. And resigned to a long wait I sat down on my suitcase, holding the leash in a tight grip as a sort of security blanket.

The bus passed me on its way up and I just kept my gaze down. I did not want to meet the driver's questioning eyes. And 20 minutes later, it passed me again, on its way down.

It had gotten much darker by now, and the light of the convenience store ahead stood out against the quickly blackening surrounding. I needed to pee but I did not want to leave my spot. What if he arrived while I was gone? He would think I did not wait! Hoping he would not choose that moment to arrive, I walked a bit inside the forest and squatting behind a tree I relieved myself, careful in not dropping the butt plug. I had not peed like that since my drunken college days and the thought that someone might be seeing me, all properly dressed, peeing behind a tree, made me keep my head down as to pretend not to be there.

Back at the gate corner it was getting pitch black now and looking up I could see the first stars shining in the sky. It had gotten really chilly and I had to admit that the warmth of my own pee had felt inviting to my freezing tights. "What a silly thought" I scolded myself.

I had decided that if he did not arrive by the next bus, I would hop on it and go up to the concierge and wait there. Surely there would be phone coverage and I would be able to contact him.

While lost in those thoughts a car stopped and the awaited voice called out for me: "Get in the car."

As if hit by a bolt, I jumped up and picking up my belongings I got in the car.

"Good evening, Sir."
"Did you wait for long?"
"It does not matter, Sir."
"Could not reach your phone."
"There was no coverage, Sir."
"How long did you wait."
"Short of two hours, Sir."
"Let's check in and than go eat something first. I'm starving."
"Yes, Sir." The cold forgotten, the apprehension forgotten, the discomfort forgotten, I was just happy to be there with him.

Chapter 2

musing #007: Emotional masochistic slave

2010-03-17T20:35:00.004+09:00

In the darkest recess of my mind lives a deeply emotional masochistic slave.
What she dreams of is a life totally consumed and obsessed by devotion to her Master, a Master that uses her but does not really care about her.
It's an unhealthy and lonely and miserable life, she knows it. But she dreams of such a setting where she could wallow in her misery, her loneliness, her obsession for her Master, dreaming of "happily ever after" scenarios that will ultimately be crushed each and every time.
Filled with the believe that "if only she could do X than things will be different/better", she gets her strength from the conviction of her own superiority to all those women with happy love lives. And, precariously, she tether on the edge of madness and self destruction.
I know better than letting her out.

Musing #006; fiddling with the layout

2010-02-19T12:41:00.005+09:00

I'm going to experiment with different layout. Please feel free to leave comments and suggestions.

Thanks!

How deep is the rabbit hole - Chapter 3: Learning to trust

2010-02-17T22:44:00.007+09:00

Chapter 2

To take advantage of the better season, this time we decided to meet at an outdoor cafe. As requested, I was wearing a short skirt, matched with natural color thigh high fishnets and my favorite silver strappy sandals. Nail polish color choice: red. I knew his favorite color is black but I opted for a more summery unsamble and it paid off as he complimented me on my choices.

Sitting in front of a couple Martini, we talked about the last time and all everything and nothing. I was trying to be cool and calm but somehow the fact that my appetite disappeared totally was an indication of my real state: nervous to the core.

"Are you ready to go? It's going to hurt." a promise, a threat.
"I did not expect it to be any different ... Sir"

Not wasting any time, as soon as we settled in the cab, he rose my skirt up, pulled my panties and stuck his fingers in. I melted right away and I took my last chance to look at him as I knew that I would not be allowed anymore later.

"Enjoy yourself now as this is all the pleasure you'll get. It will be my turn shortly."
"It hurts already, Sir ..." a whiny lament.

I had not finished speaking those words that suddenly his hand closed on my delicate bits in a tight grip. If he wanted to show me what "hurt" meant, it surely worked. It took all my self control to not cry.

"Good girl". My favorite two words, soothing all the pain away.

We got off the cab a little walk away from the hotel. On the way he held my arm in a tight grip forcing to play catch up with his pace. Taking advantage of the almost deserted street, he stuck a hand under my skirt and a thumb in my ass. The short distance walking painfully on my tiptoes surely upped the humiliation factor.

"I might need some lube tonight, Sir." a hopeful plea.
"If you earn it."

Once inside the entrance, away from the outside eyes, slammed against a wall, he stuck his thumb back in my ass and pulled me off my feet. Trying to wiggle away only earned me a stern scolding:
"Are you trying to resist me?" Knowing that all resistance was going to be futile, I stopped, defeated right away.

Having put me in my place we proceeded to pick a room.

In the room, he didn't direct me to undress this time, so I laid they toys and implements out on the little table: collar, clamps, leash, chains, rope. And waited anxiously for instructions.

Undressed down to my thigh high only, my hands got cuffed to a spreader bar above my head. With his fingers in my pussy, he pulled me up. Again I tried to lessen the impact by pulling myself up with the bar.

"Let go." Reluctanlty I let myself go, full weight painfully carried on his hand.

Down again, my feet got tied with rope and the rope hooked to a chain on a pulley. Slowly my feet went up, behind me, body facing down. I could see my reflection in the mirror, hanging from my hands and my feet and the image stroked me as beautiful and had to comment on it. He amiably agreed and added some more of his kind of beauty by attaching the clamps on my nipples.

Just when the position was starting to get uncomfortable, I was quickly distracted by the addition of weight to the clamps chain.

More pulling on the pulley and my feet were now as high as my head and I could not hold with my hands on the bar any longer. The pain and my inability to hold on combined, quickly started to erode my confidence letting the fear of failure slowly but inevitably overtake and fill my mind.

"In cannot hold on, I'm sorry Sir ..." defeat in my voice.
"Let the bar go." calm, an order.
"I'm going to fall down, Sir!" panic.
"I'm holding you". calm and commanding.
Trusting him my hands let go and slowly I got put up-side down, hands on the ground, feet tied to the pulley.

Feeling like a total failure, I kept on repeating "I'm sorry Sir." in a small voice, like a broken record. Lost in my own mental bashing, I could barely feel he clamps still pulling down on my nipples.

It did not last long. A sudden hit with a flogger alternated with a pulling and dropping of the weights on the nipple clamps brought me quickly out of it and back to the present reality of pain.

I did not want to scream. I felt I deserved all that was coming and as such I should stoically endure it. Yet the chain suddenly pulling down on the clamps was just too much to bear and screams punctuated and followed the rattling of the weights on the ground.

To give me a little respite, he brought me back up, holding my upper body in his arms. The sudden blood rushing in my head, made me fear for a moment that I'd pass out and tightly I held on to him. My feet too where starting to feel numb and as such it was time to put them down. To do so I had, once again, to hold on the bar on my own. He started unrolling the chain, but it had all twisted and he had to stop few times to straighten it up. I just could not hold on any longer so he had to hold me with one arm while with the other hand, he freed my feet.

Back on my feet, clamps still in place, I could barely stand up and I started slouching down on my knees.

"Who said you can rest?" A quick reminder that I was not the one to decide when I could rest.

With my hands propping me on a wooden spanking bench, I straightened up causing the weights attached to the nipple clamps to pull down sharply.

"Can you count to 10?" A rhetoric question that did not need an answer.

Thud - one ... thud - two ... At seven the leather flogger broke down and I knew I was in trouble as the belt was going to take the place of the broken flogger. At the same time I also knew I had been lucky that there were only 3 hits left. For a moment though I feared we were going to start all over again. And then the belt hit: EIGHT! and once more: NINE!

With the flogger the hit would knock the wind out of my pipes, and once recovered my breath I'd say the number. But with the belt all I could do was scream the number out together with the pain striking me as after the hit, whimpering and trying not to collapse took up all my energy.

"There is still 10 left. How do you think it will be?" mockingly.
"Painful, Sir." resigned.
"You know I'm going to enjoy it." smiling.
"I'm glad of it, Sir."

Number 10 came "TEEEEEN!!!" and it hurt so much I could barely breath afterward. But we were not done yet: the clamps where still on with all the weights attached to them. Without much ado, he just pulled on them and yanked them off from my nipples, causing another loud agonizing scream that made me collapse on my knees in a sobbing puddle.

Picked up and laid down on the bed, he untied my feet and laid down himself.

I was still feeling all worked up about not meeting expectations and I started apologizing once again:
"Stop. You've paid for it." closing the matter.

Once again put in my place, he bit my nipples, already tender from the clamps and started fucking me, punctuating the hard strokes with face slaps that left me sank me deeper and deeper into submission.

Ordered to turn around, I buried my head in the pillow to cover the screams I knew would come. I could not help tensing up at his first assault to my tight asshole and once again while pinning my legs open with his own, he had to scold me:
"Don't resist me".
No, I did not earn the use of lube.

The pillow pulled away from my face I let him in. The pain this time was gone in an instant and it felt really good and I started rising my ass to meet his thrusts. Pleasure washed over me like waves, growing and building up but, at the end, eluding us.

Covered in sweat, he laid down and directed me to take care of his cock with my mouth.Taking little breaks to fix the bath, I worked on his cock: lick, suck, squeeze, deep throat - gag - deep throat & suck/swallow, a break for breathing and then finding a rhythm to bob up and down and suck and breath. I could feel his excitement grow and he came down my throat and I swallowed. It was the first time and it finally felt as if I had done something right. His orgasm felt like a reward and I happily thanked him.

It was time to get cleaned up. We had talked about me washing him and I finally was given the chance to do it: soap him all up, front, back, arms, ass, legs, feet & toes. And then rinsing him off, before soaping myself up while he sat and socked in the tub.

Invited, I joined in and sat at his feet. To complete the relaxation, I started massaging his calf and feet, and than his hands and arms before moving behind him and massaging his shoulders, down on his back, and up along his neck and scalp.

"Washing you and massaging you is for me the best aftercare ever, Sir." ..
"Hard to say anything against that."

Done and relaxed we got out of the bath, dried off, packed our stuff and got dressed. Since none of us was hungry at that point, we decided to just end the night there and head home.

Unexpectedly, he got close to me and laid a little kiss on my lips before picking up the broken flogger.

"I didn't think I hit you that hard." humorously.
"Maybe I just have a tough ass." chuckling.

"I hope you will sleep as well as I will tonight." His last words, while getting me on the cab that would bring me home, filled me with pride.

And if I had any doubt that all the pain, the failure, the bruises, the dreaded subdrop, the wait, was worth it, THAT one sentence just sealed the truth: yes, it was all worth it; for if I could make him happy and satisfied and sleep like a baby, it was all worth it.

Chapter 4

Interview with a little "princess" girl

2010-02-09T20:13:00.004+09:00

Can you tell me a bit about you?
I'm a little girl, my name is Principessa and I have a wonderful daddy.
I love him to pieces, but when I'm upset, I have to make him suffer to make it better. And if and when he cries I taunt him that he is just a pussy.

What if he doesn't shed a tear
Then I'll feel proud that he is my daddy, and I ask him to buy me a gift: shoes, lingerie and pjs and also a new tie for him, so I can lead him around.
Yes, a tie with cute patterns or perhaps flashy colors or even better! I'm going to make daddy a tie to show my love: sawing buttons and flowers and writing I LOVE YOU with stitching ...and I'm also making matching boxer briefs, worthy of a princess's daddy.
I want his women to know he has a princess for a girl with striking fashion sense ...
And I'm going to practice make up on him when we play, and shave his legs, and I'm going to dress up his weenie with doll dresses and then we can have tea parties with my dolls on his tummy.

But be warned, daddies often turn out to be perverted so the little princess might face some risks...
My daddy is NOT perverted.
It is just that sometime he get possessed by a monster ... and he turns scary ... and I don't like it ...

And what he wants you to do?
All those yucky stuff that I don't like and none of the cute stuff I like. And he does not listen to me or play with me or wear the cute panties I gave him, and he just gets all bossy and uses this dark voice and I don't want to be there ...

Scary stuff, really, and does he make you fellate?
I don't know what that is but he wants disgusting things, not things for princesses ...

But you are a brave girl, and can handle it no doubt.
I have to stay strong because when daddy comes back he needs to find his girl waiting for him and then I have to make him pay for what the monster did to me. Daddy loves me and I love daddy and I don't want to talk about the monster.

Now can I have my ice cream? I want chocolate and mint and two cookies and whipped cream and a cherry and pink umbrella. Thank you.

Photo Shoot with KabukiJoe of SM Detective

2010-02-02T18:01:00.005+09:00

(Photo & rope ties by KabukiJoe of SM Detective, Blog by me - Cross posted on SM Detective - more pictures there! )

Meeting KJ for the first time, he is exactly as in the e-mail messages we have been exchanging; a very likable guy, passionate about his vision of Kinbaku and photography and with a very clear idea of what he likes and what he wants to transmit with his own images.

As for Me? I just love rope and wanted to indulge both that love and my inner exhibitionist and so here I am, getting ready for my first semi-professional rope bondage photo shooting.

Gear collected, with a friend that joined us for the occasion, we head for Sleeping Beauty, Hakime Kinoko's club. He has very kindly given KJ's permission to use the S&M tatami room for the occasion. Being early afternoon on a Sunday, the place is deserted, something that is perfect for our project, as the club is very strict on privacy and all cameras and mobile phones are forbidden inside.

The S&M tatami room is very simple and yet perfect, with a wall covered in fine canes, and two thick bamboos tied into a Japanese style St. Andrew's cross. In the true spirit of a club whose owner is one of the up and coming star of the Japanese Kinbaku scene, the ceiling is equipped with a suspension point, and ropes are available for the patrons to use.

It is time to start, so while KJ checks the lighting and the rest of the equipment, I change into my fundoshi and a light white tunic.

The different ropes are laying around on the tatami: some 7M - 6mm asanawa, some rough untreated plain rice rope, some cotton rope, emergency sheers, wooden pegs and a couple of tenugui.

I position myself kneeling on the pillows and the asanawa starts to be tied around my wrists behind my back and from there around my torso (ushiro kote). After making sure I'm ok, a blindfold is placed on my eyes and the first tie, simple and yet effective is ready
I'm retreating in my head.

Click. Click. Click.

I'm gently laid on my side, and rope is wrapped around my ankles. Suddenly a different energy flows from KJ and the pillows under my hips are unceremoniously yanked away. At the same time a couple of swats on my butt suddenly trigger memories and other emotions and for a moment I'm not sure about what will follow.

Click. Click. Click.
The rope from my ankles is pulled and attached to the one on my wrists, forcing me to bend my legs. I cannot move, there is no way out.

Click. Click. Click.

I'm put on my tummy, in a hog-tie position.

Click. Click. Click.

I'm pushed on my side and once again my butt is swatted a couple of times. And once again emotions are triggered and the uncomfortable position makes me tense up until, inevitably I surrender to the ropes.

Click. Click. Click.
Done with this set, KJ gently and quickly unties me and I recover my voice and my bearings.

A quick break, some chatting and discussion on the shoot just finished and the one to come and we are ready for the second set.

This time we are going to use the rough rope. When is wrapped around my wrists, I can feel it bite my skin and it does not leave any wiggle room at all. Tied again in ushiro-kote I'm laid on my side and my right ankle is tied and the rope secured to the suspension point. Once again I cannot move. Blindfold and gag on, I slip again inside of myself.

Click. Click. Click.
The energy changes again and my top is ripped unceremoniously. I cannot tell how much is reveling and with my leg up high and my top ripped, I'm feeling more and more exposed.

Click. Click. Click.

Of course this is not it. Rough hands fondling my exposed breast and the familiar pinching of the wooden pegs distracts me momentarily from the pain starting to radiate from my wrists and hands.

Click. Click. Click.

More ripping, more pegs, more emotions flooding through my mind. The pain from my wrists and the hands is getting noticable and I'm reaching my limit. Quickly KJ picks up on my distress trough his lenses and a reassuring "The last couple, honey" reaches my ears.

Click. Click. Click.

To not waste time, quickly the rope around my wrists is cut and my hands are free to move. Untied, KJ checks that everything is in order and I'm feeling slightly euphoric and giddy, while our friend massages my sleepy hand and shoulder.

Another quick break and I'm briefed on the next position as it can be tricky. Ripped top tossed aside, I'm ready for the next shoot.

It takes a bit of a joint effort to find the right way to proceed for the tying. First my right ankle to my right thigh, then my left ones. On my knees, my hands are tied together in front of me and the rope pulled through the suspension hook until I'm standing on my knees. It isn't as uncomfortable as I feared for my knees, but surely it is on my already tired wrists.

Click. Click. Click.

He is moving quickly around me. And the wooden pegs are back on my breasts.

Click. Click. Click.

This is a quick shoot as we feared the position would be hard on my knees. Instead it proves to be hard on my wrists. Rope off, another quick break and we are ready for the final one.

This time we are going to use the cotton rope and tie me to the bamboo cross. As it is not designed to carry any weight we need to modify the idea slightly.

Arm spread and wrists tied to the cross, left leg pulled off the ground and tightly tied to the cross. And as it has to carry my weight, the right leg is pulled as far as possible without causing me to collapse.

Click. Click. Click.

As often is the case, the pain comes from the least expected tie and what hurts this time is the plant of my left foot, as part of my weight is actually carried by it standing on the bamboo rod.

Click. Click. Click.
Almost naked, spread, exposed, no way to move or cover up or anything, I just let myself sink inside myself and surrender to the now.

Click. Click. Click.

"Done. Great! Thank you!"

KJ's voice brings me back to reality and my feet first and my hands second are untied.

We are both euphoric now. Giddy and eager to look at the pictures we start downloading them (Thank goodness for Digital Photography!). With the process on its way, I realize that we have spread our belongings all over the room: piles of ropes, wooden pegs, ripped cloth, and so forth.

While packing up, we get a second chance to talk with Kinoko-sama. He is truly a nice guy, very friendly, and his enthusiasm is just contagious.

Packing done, we are ready to leave and Kinoko-sama has started tying up one of the girls. The concentration, the depth he is sinking in to tap into the girl's energy is visible. I wish I could stay and admire his skills but alas is time for both of us to go back to the world.

Waving goodbye as not to break the magic, we walk out in the cold Tokyo night, happy and exhausted.